Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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A significant part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society with health issues replaces doctor's remedies with different non-medical methods.

While

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some believe that

this

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is totally normal, in my opinion, not considering a professional's advice can have extreme and long-lasting consequences.

Firstly

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, the traditional treatments have less efficiency on the human body. It is not possible to cure serious disorders

such

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as cancer or Alzheimer's with these alternative medicines. A severe routine assigned by a doctor and continuous monitoring of the patient is required to get a visible improvement.

Additionally

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, health issues that can be only detected using special devices are another reason to take advantage of professionals. Sometimes, the help of technological advancements or specific tools

such

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as X-rays, MRIs, or blood tests are used to detect and prevent these invisible problems.

Secondly

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, people's limited knowledge of drugs or medicines can cause side effects which are not intended. The doctors advise pills by considering the response of the patient's body to them.

For example

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, the individuals' allergies, genetic disorders, living conditions, or age play a significant role in the prescribed drugs.

Moreover

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, people without expertise do not know when to take medications and how long should the treatment continue. These technical sides of the treatment are decided by a doctor. In conclusion,

although

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nowadays, a noticeable amount of people prefer an alternative,

in other words

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, homemade remedies, I think that to fully block the disease and its irreversible consequences that can be observed in the future, patients should take an expert view.

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Task Response

Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging some potential benefits of alternative medicine. This could enhance the completeness of the response.

Task Response

Include more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments, which may help to strengthen your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas.

Task Response

The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and supports this with logical arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay uses paragraphing effectively to organize ideas.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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