The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Nowadays,

according to

Linking Words

the improvement of science, numerous numbers of infectious diseases have decreased. Many other kinds of serious medical conditions,

however

Linking Words

, have increased because of

obesity

Correct article usage

the obesity

show examples

epidemic around the world. In the following paragraphs, some reasons for

this

Linking Words

growth will be discussed and a number of solutions will be given. Many considerable reasons implicate the rise of obesity rate; as a main one, individuals' food habits can be pointed out.

In other words

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

's appetites have changed during the

last

Linking Words

decades; they prefer to consume ready meals and fast food; these meals consist of massive quantities of fat and sugar—the substances which lead humans to obesity.

Besides

Linking Words

, a shortage of daily exercise can be counted as another cause; most of the time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each person has been dedicated to exploring on social media, working by computers or sitting and watching TV,

thus

Linking Words

they do not do any spots during the day, the factor which raises the risk of being overweight. The increase in overweighting rate which has serious health consequences should be controlled in order to prevent a public health disaster. in the beginning,

people

Use synonyms

ought to be informed about the outcomes of being obese,

such

Linking Words

as ailments including diabetes, high blood pressure and eventually heart attack.

Furthermore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should have a balanced diet which contains healthy nutrients and assist them to build up strength to cope with diseases.

Finally

Linking Words

, devising some sports programs and sticking to them should be a compulsory part of each person's routine; starting with gentle exercise can be an incentive item for those who have not done any workouts. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

's lives are in danger of serious health issues because of a rise in overweight

people

Use synonyms

numbers;

this

Linking Words

issue is

due to

Linking Words

individuals' inaccurate food diets and some solutions

such

Linking Words

as doing some workouts should be designed to provide a healthier society.

shaghayegh95shadman

Sep 16, 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to support the ideas presented. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure and flow of your ideas. Some sentences can be linked more clearly to enhance readability.

task achievement

You have covered the task requirements well by addressing both the reasons for the increase in overweight people and possible solutions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
genetics
nutritional awareness
processed foods
fast food
lifestyle diseases
preventative measures
tax incentives
urban planning
community gardens
wellness initiatives
dietary guidelines
physical fitness
calorie-dense
portion control
metabolic rate
health literacy
food deserts
work-life balance
junk food
BMI (Body Mass Index)
non-communicable diseases
food labeling

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

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