The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?
Nowadays,
according to
the improvement of science, numerous numbers of infectious diseases have decreased. Many other kinds of serious medical conditions, however
, have increased because of obesity
epidemic around the world. In the following paragraphs, some reasons for Correct article usage
the obesity
this
growth will be discussed and a number of solutions will be given.
Many considerable reasons implicate the rise of obesity rate; as a main one, individuals' food habits can be pointed out. In other words
, people
's appetites have changed during the last
decades; they prefer to consume ready meals and fast food; these meals consist of massive quantities of fat and sugar—the substances which lead humans to obesity. Besides
, a shortage of daily exercise can be counted as another cause; most of the time of
each person has been dedicated to exploring on social media, working by computers or sitting and watching TV, Change preposition
apply
thus
they do not do any spots during the day, the factor which raises the risk of being overweight.
The increase in overweighting rate which has serious health consequences should be controlled in order to prevent a public health disaster. in the beginning, people
ought to be informed about the outcomes of being obese, such
as ailments including diabetes, high blood pressure and eventually heart attack. Furthermore
, people
should have a balanced diet which contains healthy nutrients and assist them to build up strength to cope with diseases. Finally
, devising some sports programs and sticking to them should be a compulsory part of each person's routine; starting with gentle exercise can be an incentive item for those who have not done any workouts.
In conclusion, people
's lives are in danger of serious health issues because of a rise in overweight people
numbers; this
issue is due to
individuals' inaccurate food diets and some solutions such
as doing some workouts should be designed to provide a healthier society.Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on
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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support the ideas presented. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure and flow of your ideas. Some sentences can be linked more clearly to enhance readability.
task achievement
You have covered the task requirements well by addressing both the reasons for the increase in overweight people and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported.