The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

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Nowadays,

according to

Linking Words

the improvement of science, numerous numbers of infectious diseases have decreased. Many other kinds of serious medical conditions,

however

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, have increased because of

obesity

Correct article usage

the obesity

show examples

epidemic around the world. In the following paragraphs, some reasons for

this

Linking Words

growth will be discussed and a number of solutions will be given. Many considerable reasons implicate the rise of obesity rate; as a main one, individuals' food habits can be pointed out.

In other words

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people

Use synonyms

's appetites have changed during the

last

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decades; they prefer to consume ready meals and fast food; these meals consist of massive quantities of fat and sugar—the substances which lead humans to obesity.

Besides

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, a shortage of daily exercise can be counted as another cause; most of the time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each person has been dedicated to exploring on social media, working by computers or sitting and watching TV,

thus

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they do not do any spots during the day, the factor which raises the risk of being overweight. The increase in overweighting rate which has serious health consequences should be controlled in order to prevent a public health disaster. in the beginning,

people

Use synonyms

ought to be informed about the outcomes of being obese,

such

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as ailments including diabetes, high blood pressure and eventually heart attack.

Furthermore

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people

Use synonyms

should have a balanced diet which contains healthy nutrients and assist them to build up strength to cope with diseases.

Finally

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, devising some sports programs and sticking to them should be a compulsory part of each person's routine; starting with gentle exercise can be an incentive item for those who have not done any workouts. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

's lives are in danger of serious health issues because of a rise in overweight

people

Use synonyms

numbers;

this

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issue is

due to

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individuals' inaccurate food diets and some solutions

such

Linking Words

as doing some workouts should be designed to provide a healthier society.

shaghayegh95shadmanMon Sep 16 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to support the ideas presented. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure and flow of your ideas. Some sentences can be linked more clearly to enhance readability.

task achievement

You have covered the task requirements well by addressing both the reasons for the increase in overweight people and possible solutions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
genetics
nutritional awareness
processed foods
fast food
lifestyle diseases
preventative measures
tax incentives
urban planning
community gardens
wellness initiatives
dietary guidelines
physical fitness
calorie-dense
portion control
metabolic rate
health literacy
food deserts
work-life balance
junk food
BMI (Body Mass Index)
non-communicable diseases
food labeling

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Some people say in orther to prevent illness and disease,governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art is considered an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture .Do you think it is important for children to be taught art?Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on arts rather than other subject .

Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions