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Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given maps illustrate the changes to Arnold Avenue that took place in 1920 and its current state.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the most noticeable change is the replacement of the central fountain with a rose garden which includes seating. In 1920, the stage for musicians was demolished to make way for today's
amphitheater
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amphitheatre
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 for concerts.
Moreover
, the Glasshouse, which was in the southwest, was demolished, and a water feature was established with a new underground car park added nearby.The central fountain was replaced by a rose garden with seats surrounding it.The rose garden and seats, which were to the west of the entrance, were demolished.
By contrast
, the current children's play area was constructed
in stead
Correct your spelling
instead
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 of the pond for water plants and
in
Change preposition
to
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 the left
of
Change preposition
apply
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their
Replace the word
there
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 is
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 Cafe.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction conclusion present
Include a more robust introduction and conclusion to frame your summary more effectively. An opening sentence summarizing the overall context and a closing sentence summarizing the changes observed can help give structure to your report.
logical structure
Improve on making clear comparisons between the two maps. Ensure that each change is precisely described, and it's clear what existed before and what exists now, using phrases like “in place of” or “replaced by.” This will help make comparisons more meaningful.
complete response
The essay consistently addresses the main changes observed in the park from 1920 to the present and successfully identifies key differences and new features.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses specific language to describe changes, such as 'demolished', 'established', and 'constructed', which conveys the transformations effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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