IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given maps illustrate the changes to Arnold Avenue that took place in 1920 and its current state.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the most noticeable change is the replacement of the central fountain with a rose garden which includes seating. In 1920, the stage for musicians was demolished to make way for today's
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
show examples
 for concerts.
Moreover
, the Glasshouse, which was in the southwest, was demolished, and a water feature was established with a new underground car park added nearby.The central fountain was replaced by a rose garden with seats surrounding it.The rose garden and seats, which were to the west of the entrance, were demolished.
By contrast
, the current children's play area was constructed
in stead
Correct your spelling
instead
show examples
 of the pond for water plants and
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the left
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 Cafe.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Include a more robust introduction and conclusion to frame your summary more effectively. An opening sentence summarizing the overall context and a closing sentence summarizing the changes observed can help give structure to your report.
logical structure
Improve on making clear comparisons between the two maps. Ensure that each change is precisely described, and it's clear what existed before and what exists now, using phrases like “in place of” or “replaced by.” This will help make comparisons more meaningful.
complete response
The essay consistently addresses the main changes observed in the park from 1920 to the present and successfully identifies key differences and new features.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses specific language to describe changes, such as 'demolished', 'established', and 'constructed', which conveys the transformations effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
What to do next:
Look at other essays: