At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

The recent

Correct article usage

Recent

show examples

researches

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research

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confirmed that the

teenagers

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teenage

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percentages are significantly increasing;

thus

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the

mean time

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meantime

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, the number of young adults in some nations

are

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much more than

the

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that

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grownups

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of grownups

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This

essay will elaborate more

both

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on both

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the advantages and disadvantages of

this

proposal. In regards to the disadvantages, the main drawback is that we will be missing most of the handwork jobs;

for example

, the farmers, the builders and even the chefs, everything now is being computerized with a lot of technology involved since the new generation is not that much into handwork jobs. We will

also

lose a big part of someone recalling our history, sustaining morals and ethics, as they

say

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say,

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grand parents

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grandparents

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are the best role models for the grandchildren.

On the other hand

, we are living in a very fast-paced world, so having younger generations will result in a significant advantage

coping

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in coping

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with the latest trends, technologies &

AI’s

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For example

, young adults are very open-minded and can

pickup

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pick up

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stuff very quickly which

give

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gives

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them a plus

dealing

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in dealing

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with

the

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apply

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new electronics,

such

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apply

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iPhone

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iPhones

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, tablets,

PC’S

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PCs

etc

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...

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Finally

, having more young adults does have some drawbacks, but with

this

roller coaster

life

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life,

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we are living we find out , that teenagers are the ones dealing well with all the surroundings rather

that

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than

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the old generations.

Submitted by Mido on Mon Oct 21 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop your points more fully; each point should be well-explained and supported with examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear conclusion summarizing the points and providing a final opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with linking words or phrases.

task achievement

The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for this type of question.

task achievement

The writer attempts to explain the main points clearly, using straightforward examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

221 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Which opinion do you agree with?