Working parents strive to achieve a balance between career and family, but only a few manage to achieve it. What is the reason according to you? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.

Balancing between career and family is a challenging job for working
parents
, they
demended
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demanded
to do 2
differents
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different
show examples
job
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jobs
show examples
which
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
both
emostions
Correct your spelling
emotions
and skills.
However
, not many of them can
achive
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achieve
archive
it.
This
essay will examine some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
it and give some
posible
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possible
solutions.
Overall
, there are many
reason
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reasons
show examples
why
parents
working
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cannot afford the
balancing
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balance
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
working and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
care family.
Fist
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First
show examples
,
time
Add a missing verb
is time
show examples
management; employed
parents
often
strugle
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struggle
to manage their
time
effectively
due to
demands
Correct article usage
the demands
show examples
of work and family, leading to stress and
imbalence
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imbalance
.
For example
,
awomen
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a woman
who has
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a positition
show examples
positition
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position
as
accountant
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an accountant
show examples
manager which has a huge responsibility in
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
,
then
this
women
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woman
show examples
required
Add a missing verb
is required
show examples
to take of her family, including
children
, husband and family needs which
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
draining a lot of
emostions
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emotions
, leading to
exhausted
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exhaustion
show examples
and
burn out
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burnout
show examples
.
Furthermore
, lack of
support
Correct article usage
a support
show examples
system; many
parents
working
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do not have access to reliable
childrencare
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childcare
or supportive workplaces, making
Correct pronoun usage
it dificult
show examples
dificult
Correct your spelling
difficult
to balance responsibilities.
However
, there might be
possible
Correct article usage
a possible
show examples
sollution
Correct your spelling
solution
solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem, chilrencare could be a good option to take care of
children
,
to
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so
show examples
leave them in daycare for a period of
time
is not a big deal, as long as, after
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
spend
time
with them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
children
still need
attentions
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attention
show examples
and education from
parents
.
Additionally
, hiring someone to handle chores could
be
Verb problem
make it
show examples
easier to maintain the balancing of career and family.
To conclude
, working
parents
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
some issues to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balancing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and family
due to
time
management and lack of
support
Correct article usage
a support
show examples
system,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
issue can reduce
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
,
living
Verb problem
leaving
show examples
children
a few hours in daycare and hiring someone to
to
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
chores.
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on

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language
The essay attempts to address the topic, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward expressions. Try to proofread your work or use tools to check grammar and spelling. Also, aim to use more varied vocabulary.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will help in providing a clearer explanation of your ideas.
structure
Work on your paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph contains one main idea supported by relevant details.
structure
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, identifying the problem and offering solutions.
task response
You have addressed the task by mentioning potential reasons and solutions for balancing work and family life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • support systems
  • childcare
  • traditional gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • financial stability
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • burnout
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