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Band 6

The chart shows air pollution levels among four countries in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows air pollution levels among four countries in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#air #pollution #levels #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart compares 4 major air pollutant amounts in
China
Use synonyms
,America,Japan and
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2012. The units are given in
PPM
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,the most features belong to the industry,
while
Linking Words
 the least number account for electricity generation.
In addition
Linking Words
, the rates in
Australia
Use synonyms
 show stable
PPM
Use synonyms
 on a bar chart.
According to
Linking Words
 Asian countries, Japanese citizens suffered from electricity generation with 15
PPM
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 rate in
China
Use synonyms
 was 60.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 rate for industrial purposes was 2 times greater in
China
Use synonyms
 80
PPM
Use synonyms
 and almost 40
PPM
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the riskiest air quality was in
China
Use synonyms
, and the greatest climate is
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
. Turning to other Nations, America fluctuated in digits of pollutants in 2012 nearly 60
PPM
Use synonyms
 for the transportation system,almost
the
Correct determiner usage
all the
show examples
 other facilities have the same features with electricity generation and industrial facilities.
However
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 remained almost the same statistics 20
PPM
Use synonyms
 whole year.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words china, australia, ppm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • air pollution levels
  • sources of pollution
  • industrial pollution
  • transportation-related pollution
  • household pollution
  • highest levels
  • lowest levels
  • notable changes
  • anomalies
  • comparisons
  • summarise
  • highlight
  • analyze
  • chart
  • data
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