Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. To what extents do you agree or disagree.

Even though the capacity of a single nation or a person is limited to help every corner

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the world. I do not agree with the idea that we should focus on ourselves. I understand why some

people

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insist on the view that it is unfeasible to help all.

Furthermore

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, we cannot deny that human beings are not superheroes.

Hence

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, all of us have our own limitations, no matter what situation we are in. As an example, the richest man on our planet

also

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cannot afford everything he wants. It’s an unreal dream to help everyone and fill all demands.

Besides

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, concentrating on certain areas is more likely to succeed, not only for a country but

also

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for individuals.

Consequently

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, we can dedicate resources to solving our own problems using all we have, avoiding depletion, which happens when we deliver our attention to care about others.

However

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, we are humans, not inanimate objects which have no emotions and lives. If we look in retrospect at our history, it is clear

people

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went through tough times in every phase of human development by unifying with each other and sharing what they had.

For

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this

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reason and considering ethics, individuals should not be selfish, we need to think more about others and give a hand to those

people

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who are in poor situations.

In addition

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people

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who are willing and eager to be helpful feel happier than those who do not,

according to

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research. In conclusion, I admit it is impossible for us to help every person who has needs. But the limitation should not be an excuse for us not to give our favour to those

people

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. I still strongly believe we need to do everything to help each other and make our society advance.

gyinghunanThu Dec 19 2019

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Task Achievement

Enhance the introduction by clearly stating your position in a more direct manner and outlining your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea; this will improve the logical flow of your arguments.

Task Achievement

In your conclusion, explicitly summarize your main arguments to reinforce your position on the topic.

Task Achievement

Your essay displays a thoughtful engagement with the topic and presents a clear stance on the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

You provide a good balance of personal insight and general truth about human nature, which enriches your essay.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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