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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
In today's world, some people believe that taking a break between high school and
university
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 benefits
students
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,
while
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 others disagree with
this
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 view. I believe that taking a
gap
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year
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 can be highly beneficial, and I will explain my choice thoroughly in
this
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 essay.
Body paragraph 1
A
gap
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year
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 between school and
university
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 can be a life-changing experience for
students
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. Many teenagers have not decided on their future career paths, and making
this
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 decision too quickly can have negative consequences later in their lives. Choosing a career path is one of the most essential and responsible decisions for
students
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, and I believe that they should be confident enough to choose it, because employees who are not satisfied with their chosen jobs regret all their
lives
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entire lives
show examples
.
Moreover
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, People who dislike their jobs may be less motivated to perform well, which could limit their career progression and earning potential.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some people believe that a
gap
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year
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 is simply a waste of time. They find the delay of universities unnecessary and only for entertainment purposes.
Furthermore
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, postponing
university
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 can delay graduation and entry into the job market. These concerns are reasonable, particularly if
students
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 spend the
year
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 without a clear purpose. These disadvantages can be minimised by setting specific goals and maintaining productive routines throughout the
year
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly recommend every student to take a one-
year
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gap
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 between high school and
university
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 to explore the world, to spend more time with their family and friends, to decide what they want for their future and only after that break to set goals and do their best to achieve them.

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task response
You answer both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, add one real example. For example, write about a student who worked, travelled, or helped others during a gap year and then chose a better course.
task response
Your main idea is clear, but the two sides are not fully equal. Give more detail about why some students may not want a gap year, such as money problems, loss of study habits, or a lack of clear plans.
task response
Your ending says every student should take a gap year. This is too strong because it does not fit all students. Say that a gap year is best for students who have a clear plan for it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. Keep this order in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. For example, after saying that students may choose the wrong career, explain how work or travel during the year can help them learn what they want.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Break them into two shorter sentences so your ideas are easier to follow. In the last paragraph, make a short, direct final statement after your list of reasons.
task response
You discuss both views and clearly state your own opinion from the start.
task response
You give useful reasons for a gap year, especially the chance to think about future work before choosing a course.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main job, and the use of phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your final paragraph clearly returns to your main view and brings the essay to a proper end.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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