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Band 3

The plans below show the layout of a manor house purchased by a theatre company,and how it will look after development.

#plans #show #layout #manor #house #theatre #company #development
The two diagrams compare the current layout of
the a
Choose an article
the
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 manor house and a design of the development plan layout auger being purchased by a theatre company. It is obvious that the layout has changed from the original separation to a large
overall
 space, and new space has
planned
Add a missing verb
been planned
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 to
add
Wrong verb form
be added
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 in the
noreast
Correct your spelling
northeast
 corner to satisfy the actual usage necessity of the theatre. At present, the manor house
Add a missing verb
is separate
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separate
Replace the word
separated
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 into more than 10 rooms.
However
, in the development plan, only the entrance towards
southern
Correct article usage
the southern
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 and the southwest corner
room
 will be retained for the construction of the restroom and snack bar,
while
 all other rooms will be incorporated. On the right side of the entrance is the ticket desk. Walking forward, you can see the stage and five rows of seats. The newly added space in the northeast corner is divided into 3 functional areas, from west to east is
dressing
Correct article usage
the dressing
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room
, green
room
 and wardrobe
respectiably
Correct your spelling
respectably
respectively
. The dressing
room
 is directly connected to the stage,
while
 the wardrobe is connected to the
stage
Change noun form
stage's
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 back door, making it
convent
Correct your spelling
convenient
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 for
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 staff to enter and exit.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Introduction
Your introduction successfully presents the task, but avoid repetition. Use synonyms or paraphrasing for variety. For example, instead of repeatedly saying 'layout', you can also express it as 'design' or 'structure'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sentences would benefit from rephrasing to improve clarity. For example, 'The newly added space...' can be more clearly stated as 'The redesigned area in the northeast corner will create new functional spaces.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider smoothing transitions between paragraphs to reinforce logical flow, and avoid abrupt changes in the topic.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, try offering more specific examples to strengthen the essay, such as mentioning the exact purposes of the newly developed areas and how they serve the theatre's needs.
Task Achievement
The essay does a great job outlining the major changes between the current and revised plans. You effectively convey how the manor house layout will be transformed for theatre purposes.
Coherence and Cohesion
You successfully maintain focus on the topic throughout the essay, with well-organized paragraphs that cover distinct aspects of the layout transformation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description of how existing spaces are repurposed in the proposed plan is clear. This reflects good task engagement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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