IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You work in an office and have recently been experiencing a health problem. You think that the problem started because of the working conditions in the office. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Describe the health problem. Explain why you think it was cause by conditions in the office. Suggest what the manager should do to improve the working conditions in the office.

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Dear Sir, I am an assistant manager in the legal department. Recently, I was diagnosed with asthma and enlargement of the lungs
due to
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 constant exposure to dusty and damp conditions. The legal wing is located in the basement of our organisation,
therefore
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, there are few windows and the ventilation is inadequate. Since there are thousands of case files stored which have been accumulated with dust and microorganisms for ages. To worsen the situation, some water pipes are leaking which contributes to humid conditions. My doctor has concluded that prolonged exposure to old dust-laden files and a humid environment caused my body's allergic reactions.
This
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 is evident from other employees who are suffering from early lung diseases as well. I reckon that we must install air purifiers on an immediate basis to enhance the quality of air. For long-term solutions , we endeavour to digitalise our records which will improve our working conditions. I hope you will take immediate action for the welfare of workers. Yours Sincerely, Justin Green

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure all paragraphs focus on one clear idea to avoid mixing topics.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by strengthening connections between ideas and providing smooth transitions.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriate and politely formatted.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a professional and suitable tone throughout, demonstrating understanding of formal correspondence.
complete response
The letter addresses the task fully with relevant details and a clear suggestion for improvement.
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