IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some
students
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 choose to take a
gap
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year
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 to travel or work before entering
university
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.
This
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 decision can offer numerous benefits for their academic and personal development, though it
also
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 has potential drawbacks.
Overall
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, the advantages of taking a
gap
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year
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 tend to outweigh the disadvantages, as the experience can positively influence their future studies and career prospects. One significant advantage of a
gap
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year
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 is the opportunity for personal growth and maturity. When
students
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 travel or work, they are exposed to different cultures, challenges, and responsibilities that help them develop independence and resilience.
For example
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,
students
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 who work gain a better understanding of financial management and
time
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 management, which can be beneficial when they eventually start their
university
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 studies.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 who travel often gain a broader perspective on global issues, which can enrich their understanding of various subjects in
university
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, particularly in fields like sociology, international relations, and environmental studies. Another benefit is that taking
time
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 off allows
students
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 to clarify their career goals and academic interests. Many young people are unsure of what they want to study immediately after school, and a
gap
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year
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 can give them the
time
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 to reflect on their interests and make more informed decisions.
For instance
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, someone interested in studying medicine might volunteer at a healthcare facility, which could either strengthen their commitment to the field or reveal a different area of interest.
This
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 clarity and focus can be highly advantageous, as
students
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 who are sure of their path tend to perform better academically and feel more motivated.
However
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, there are potential downsides to consider. A
gap
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year
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 can sometimes disrupt the academic momentum that
students
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 have built during school, making it harder for them to adjust to the demands of
university
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 study after an extended break.
Additionally
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, if
students
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 do not use their
time
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 productively, they risk falling behind their peers who proceed directly to
university
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.
This
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 can lead to feelings of regret or pressure to catch up. In conclusion,
while
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 a
gap
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year
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 does carry some risks, the personal growth, clarity, and maturity that it fosters often outweigh these disadvantages. By the
time
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students
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 start
university
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, they are generally more prepared, focused, and motivated, which can significantly enhance their academic experience and future career success.

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or personal anecdotes to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific countries students might visit and what unique cultural experiences and challenges they might encounter there.
task achievement
Try to address potential counterarguments more thoroughly. Discuss how students can overcome the challenge of feeling left behind or out of rhythm when starting university after a gap year.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a logical flow of ideas. Using more transitional phrases and connectors can help link various sections of the essay together.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that reinforces your main points.
task achievement
You provided a well-rounded analysis of the advantages of a gap year, covering both personal and academic growth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of gap years, helping readers follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • time management
  • teamwork
  • problem-solving abilities
  • horizons
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • gap year
  • academic rigor
  • financial constraints
  • long-term educational goals
  • academic pursuits
  • academic ambitions
What to do next:
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