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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some argue that teachers should focus on academics more than motivating students. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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There is a debate over the topic of whether
teachers
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 should prioritize the academic aspects of each student or whether motivating them is the more practical approach.
While
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 inspiring
students
Use synonyms
 has some benefits, I partially agree with
this
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 standpoint, since giving real-world experience and knowledge still remains fundamental as it was the original aim of education and teaching. On the one hand, inspiration plays a fundamental role in all aspects of human life and education is not an exception. Through motivation,
teachers
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 may show all the potential of the
students
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, by demonstrating what their hard work can lead to, and how it will pay off them down the road.
For instance
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,
teachers
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 may inspire and motivate their
students
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 by retelling the lives of successful people and the challenges that they overcome thanks to
ability
Add an article
the ability
an ability
show examples
 that they have.
Therefore
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, it may be a crucial part of teaching to encourage youth and push them mentally by inspiring them.
On the other hand
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,
teachers
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 should be more focused on the academic aspects of each student, since it will allow them to gain pure ability which can later help to form interests and find future career paths.
For instance
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,
teachers
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 can discuss with youth their interests and practice real-life examples in order to gain more practical experience rather than theory.
Thus
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 it is important for
teachers
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 to build a mindset of
students
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 so, that there will be no need for motivation. In conclusion, the actual knowledge can not be replaced by inspiring words, since these are just sentences that trigger emotions and have no value,
therefore
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teachers
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 and tutors should prioritize the right mindset and consistency over motivation.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more definitive stance on your agreement or disagreement with the topic. A clearer position could improve your score in task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clarify the connection between ideas more explicitly to enhance coherence. Using more linking words could help the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, reinforce your main points more strongly to leave a lasting impression and assert your argument's importance.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view with arguments for both sides of the debate, showing good critical thinking skills.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as discussing real-life experiences and the lives of successful people, enhance the persuasive qualities of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • motivational strategies
  • foundational understanding
  • engagement
  • dynamic learning environment
  • well-rounded students
  • long-term benefits
  • personal drive
  • educational experience
  • emotional support
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