Children find a difficult to concentrate or pay attention to school. What the reason how can we solve this issue?

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Every student has a different ability to grasp certain topics.

Due to

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this

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, some learners struggle to absorb lessons given by instructors in educational institutes. Both the causes and solutions behind

this

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scenario will be discussed in the following paragraphs. There are numerous reasons why pupils may fail to focus on their studies.

Firstly

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, distractions are created by digital devices

such

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as smartphones. The constant barrage of notifications makes adolescents busy with chit-chat.

This

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long exposure to blue light and addiction to chatting causes fatigue in the eye muscles, which alters the brain’s cognitive abilities,

such

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as memory and

attention

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. To illustrate

this

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point, research from the Harvard School of Education (HSE) showed that around 80% of children suffered from sleep deprivation

due to

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technological gadgets in 2022.

Thus

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, schools should ban these tempting tools to help alleviate

this

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issue.

Furthermore

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, an uninspiring curriculum is another primary reason behind

this

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problem. Most boarding schools follow traditional ways of teaching. If instructors are explaining chemical reactions in chemistry without performing them in the laboratory, is it possible for students to fully understand them?

As a result

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, students may lose interest and find it hard to grasp these scientific topics. More engaging methods can help young learners pay closer

attention

Use synonyms

to their studies. Despite the many causes, there are

also

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multiple remedies.

To begin

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with, parents can restrict their children’s screen time so that they can better manage their time for school homework and physical fitness.

Consequently

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this

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lifestyle change can help children pay better

attention

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, which promotes positive academic results.

Moreover

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, learning institutes can reduce overcrowding in classes, as sometimes maintaining discipline becomes a major issue for staff members. These changes would make students more comfortable and confident to ask questions during lectures, as there would be no feeling of

attention

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deficit or fear of asking questions.

Overall

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, if all the approaches stated above are consistently followed, there would be a promising trend in greater student involvement in classroom studies.

This

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would be possible with the help of both parents and teachers providing proper guidance to the young learners.

sarabjeetk8899Tue Oct 22 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

While the essay is well-structured, adding transitional phrases can enhance the flow between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Provide a more detailed analysis or additional examples to further support your points, particularly in the solutions section.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

Task Achievement

Uses specific examples, such as the research from the Harvard School of Education, to support arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

348 words

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Children find a difficult to concentrate or pay attention to school. What the reason how can we solve this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Machines have replaced physical work in many industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?