Some companies prefer people to work in the office, while others facilitate their employees to work from home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many companies choose to let their
employees
work
from
home
and others prefer them to come and
work
in
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
. Each way has its benefits and negative parts, but I
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
totally prefer working in the
office
rather than staying at
home
.
Firstly
, working from
home
has become very popular after
COVID
Correct article usage
the COVID
show examples
period and is very comfortable for many
people
. The
employees
save more time in the morning because they do not
have
Add the particle
have to
show examples
go to
work
and
stay
Verb problem
spend
show examples
a lot of hours in traffic. These help them to be relaxed, happier and more concentrated. Staying at
home
will save them more money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they will not have to pay for the bus or train ticket and many of them prefer preparing and eating food at
home
.
On the other hand
, going to
work
is a good way to keep you motivated and more active. Working from
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
means not just working but
also
interacting with more
people
.
This
helps many of the
employees
on making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
new friends and
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
out after
work
. Waking up in the morning and going to
work
is a routine which
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
most of the
people
active. They have to walk to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
or run after the bus, simple things but essential for many of them. By doing
this simple activities
Change the determiner
this simple activity
these simple activities
show examples
people
are more active and
this
will improve their health. In my opinion, working in the
office
has more benefits for the
employees
. It helps
people
to
comunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
more with others and create new relationships. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
, going to
work
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to be more active. By staying at
home
many
people
become isolated and passive, things that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their mental and physical health.
To sum up
, some companies prefer to let their
employees
work
from
home
and others call them in the
office
. Both of them, have their negative and positive parts, but I prefer working in the
office
more than staying at
home
.
Submitted by inaveriga on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points, particularly when discussing the benefits of working in the office versus at home. This will add depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to better structure your arguments by clearly separating them into distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint. Use cohesive devices like "On the one hand" for remote work and "On the other hand" for office work, to better connect your ideas.
language use
Some phrases and sentences can be improved for grammatical accuracy and sophistication. Consider reviewing your writing for these small issues, as refining them will increase clarity and overall writing quality.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are important for a coherent essay structure.
task achievement
The main points are well-presented and supported by logical reasoning, reflecting good task achievement.
task achievement
You effectively explain the benefits and drawbacks of each option, displaying balanced analysis throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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