Write about the following topic: More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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It can be clearly seen that nowadays society is facing challenges related to health and lifestyle and one of the biggest challenges is obesity especially in European and North American countries. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss the underlying causes and downside effects of
this
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issue on these nations. In first-world countries, most members of society have a comfortable life and are above the poverty line. So,
food
Use synonyms
is available in abundance with a wide range of options including processed foods which are high in salt and simple sugars.
Moreover
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, when a bad diet is combined with a sedentary lifestyle that lacks physical activity and sports, will result in obesity and insulin resistance.
For example
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, children nowadays do not play after school and spend most of their day watching TV or playing video games
while
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eating fried
food
Use synonyms
and drinking soda.
This
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issue is threatening future generations which needs aggressive intervention. Health organizations around the world have worked on initiatives to promote healthy lifestyles. It is suggested that a child should have 60 minutes daily of strenuous physical activity to keep the child in caloric deficit.
Also
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, it is recommended to reduce screen time and avoid late meals.
Furthermore
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, parents should provide healthy
food
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and reduce their children's intake of sugars. In Saudi Arabia,
for example
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, schools' cantinas are not allowed to provide
food
Use synonyms
high in carbohydrates like baked sweets or sell energy or sweet drinks. In conclusion, it is predicted that the number one leading cause of death in 2050 will be obesity-related deaths. So, it is time for society to take serious action toward solving
this
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problem. It will require collaborative efforts from governments, educational institutions, medical experts and parents.
Submitted by ghadeersulami on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a consistent flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include more diverse examples to cover a broader perspective on the issue across different countries.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the issue and sets up the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both causes and effects thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the argument well and calls for action, reinforcing the main points discussed.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • calorie intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • nutritional understanding
  • overfeeding
  • convenience over nutrition
  • electronic devices
  • dietary choices
  • self-esteem
  • medical expenditure
  • academic success
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