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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in a a country where you have to speak foreign Language can cause serious social. problems, as well as practical problems. To What extent do you agree or dis agrees

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Taking your time in a place where you need to communicate in not your native speaking can cause hard occasions in the social and practical spheres of activity.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 idea because the way you deal with the surrounding World changes your own fate.
First,
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we need to understand that communication shows and includes the culture and the mental case of its native.
Second,
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it provides information during speaking between people.
For example
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, the first person we see
while
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 arriving new country is a customs officer, who is checking your documents.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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, if there is some mess there, it would be hard to cooperate with him without elementary skills in the expression he operates or an international one. And influences to appear on the list of misunderstandings in your society's place.
Due to
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 the research presented by International Research Ltd.data shows increasing of
such
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 happenings up to 22%.
However
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, what is the polite word in your region, could be impolite in other areas. That's why I agree with the trend of being bilingual and learning the traditions of different nations.
Finally
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, what we say depends on the practical part of our activity.
Furthermore
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, if you ask a help, but nobody does not understand your wish, means great trouble.
For example
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, during the rescue operation in West India in 1998, the hardest issue was the unknowing dialect by saving tourists, which caused 32% of injuries.
According to
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 the previous information, I believe that speech influences to practical part of growth. In conclusion, there is no alternative to keeping the soul under control without knowing the right way of communication, in another way, it would hurt you in practice and in societal beings.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic but could be more focused. Clarify your position and ensure that each paragraph directly supports your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Use linking words effectively to connect your thoughts and create a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. Be specific and make sure your examples are clearly tied to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by organizing information in a clear, logical order. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
You have made an effort to present a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are organized with topic sentences that introduce the main idea, which helps the reader understand the structure of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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