Throughout the history, people have dream art of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world. How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

All over the time of existence of humans in the world, a single opinion about perfect society has been never illustrated. Many elements are really important for a society and are perfect for most people. In my mind, safety is the most important part of any country. In
this
essay, I am going to cover
this
part
then
we will see how to achieve the ideal civilization.
First,
it seems safety has been located on one of the columns of humanity which construct an ideal nation for living.
For instance
, in many countries like South Korea,
this
subject is really important for everybody.
For example
, if somebody loses her or his wallet, it will be found in the same location.
This
example shows how it seems great to live there and always feel safe by their rules.
However
, the other parameters make
this
land a good location for living but we have just talked about the most important element. By following these locations, we could understand how a perfect culture works just by the high quality of being safe.
Second,
for achieving an ideal civilization there are several ways which have to work by people.
In addition
, the government has a significant effect on
this
location and we can not ignore their affection.
Therefore
, finding a good instance can help us to answer the question.
Hence
, Koreans always pay attention to the results of their work. It is important for them to achieve a special place to live.
Thus
, they follow the rules completely
in addition
, if somebody obeys the laws they will punish him to show others what is the sequence of not following the rules.
Therefore
, doing these tasks helps a land to be an ideal place to live. In conclusion, we were talking about how to have an ideal culture nowadays. In my point of view, South Korea is a good instance of how a society can be amazing by many things.
Persons
Replace the word
People
show examples
have never had the same solution to solve their problems
however
, statistically,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
have been rated for their needs
then
humanity understood at first they need safety
then
other parts are important in order.
Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear, focused main idea and smooth transitions between points.
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided, including more specific details or scenarios to fully illustrate your points.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies and focuses on a key element, safety, that could contribute to an ideal society.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, providing a clear starting and ending point.
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