More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem.

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Undoubtedly, most of the
kids
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are suffering from obesity nowadays.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that
kids
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are starting to become obese
due to
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living in affluent
cities
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, there is
also
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an argument that
that is
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going to create an issue for prosperous towns. My essay will analyse the topic from both causes and effects. On the one hand, children are becoming overweight via the nutrients available in their city.
Moreover
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, many fast-food restaurants are trying to open in affluent towns because of the financial gain they can achieve there.
Therefore
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,
kids
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from these sorts of countries have a lot of options to make in their nutrient resources.
For instance
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, an article statement on the internet
that
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apply
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demonstrated that 88% of teenagers, including young
kids
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from wealthy
cities
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, tend to prefer unhealthy food like McDonald's.
Subsequently
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, they gain extra weight and get fat.
On the other hand
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, the nations will have various issues with overweight
kids
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.
In addition
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, the obesity ratio will increase in the youth population,
as well as
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wealthy countries can not benefit from them because of their weight.
Furthermore
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, when
kids
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grow to become men or women, their job chances will be reduced
due to
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being overweight.
For example
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, wealthy countries will need soldiers in the future, so if most of the young population is fat,
then
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the military jobs can not hire them
as a result
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of their size. In conclusion,
while
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there is no definitive answer to that issue, I believe that fat young people are getting obese because of the financial stabilise
cities
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, which contain many unhealthy foods. In terms of the various problems that
cities
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will encounter, they will gain fat people as soon as these
kids
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grow up.
Submitted by ferasmirza11 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure thesis statements in the introduction are concise and clear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include more varied sentence structures to improve readability.
Task Response
Provide specific data or studies to strengthen arguments when mentioning statistics.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction, addressing both causes and effects.
Task Achievement
The examples used are relevant and help illustrate the causes and effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
A logical structure is maintained throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the issue.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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