IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, companies always proudly highlight the
technology
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 which
is
Verb problem
has been
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 invented recently
that is
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 included in the latest
product
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. There are several
resaon
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reasons
 behind the phenomenon.
Although
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this
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 brings benefit, I believe that the
negaticve effent
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negative effect
 could cover the positive part. One major reason that
producer
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producers
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 show the “newness” of their products is
because
Change preposition
that
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 innovation attracts consumer attention in an increasingly competitive market . The new
technology
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make
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makes
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 the consumer want to try the
product
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 rather than other
similiar
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similar
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. The company may have more money to invest
on
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in
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 technical
developing
Replace the word
development
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 may lead to
an
Correct article usage
a
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 significant
producttivity
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productivity
 development .
For instance
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 , OpenAI
release
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releases
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 updated models every year and
promote
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promotes
show examples
 their algorithm as developments in order to
steadly
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steadily
 increase the demand
in
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for
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 using
Chatgpt
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ChatGPT
show examples
.
Moreover
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, modern consumers often ask
new
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for new
show examples
 products with higher quality or advanced
technology
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, and businesses are just meeting their
need
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needs
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.
However
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, despite the limited benefits, I would argue that
this
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 trend has more drawbacks than advantages. Some Companies may introduce only small changes but present them as significant improvements, creating unrealistic expectations. Continuing the
situtation
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situation
 will lead to a distrust in purchasing
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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 goods. With lower sales, less money will be invested
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
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apply
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technology
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inventing
Replace the word
invention
show examples
. That will cause
an
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a
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 vicious cycle.
Furthermore
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, when a
fast generating
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fast-generating
show examples
product
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 always shows the new
technology
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 they have, a " throw-away " culture may become a normal habit. That would cause huge waste , if the
situtation
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situation
 lasted long. In conclusion, the newness given by the company is a
double edge
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double-edged
show examples
 sword.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle and end. Write one short opening that repeats the topic in your own words. Then two body paragraphs and a short finish.
language
Use simple words and short sentences. Check spelling and grammar. Avoid long, hard words.
content
Give one or two strong reasons and a clear view on whether it is good or bad. Support each point with a simple example.
cohesion
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next, like First, Also, But, However, In addition.
task response
Stay on the task. Do not add many facts that are not asked. Keep your point on the main topic.
content
The essay has a view on the topic and a conclusion.
idea
Some ideas show why new tech can push sales.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • novelty
  • excitement
  • latest trends
  • improvements
  • advancements
  • differentiating
  • competitors
  • innovation
  • progress
  • attracting attention
  • generating curiosity
What to do next:
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