IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is true that contemporary
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 frequently highlight the novelty of their
products
Use synonyms
 in their advertising. There could be several reasons why
this
Linking Words
 is the case, and I believe it is a positive development. There are some reasons why
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 consistently
emphasized
Change the spelling
emphasised
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 the
commodities'
Check wording
apply
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innovation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in a saturated market, advertising
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 a different kind of promotion. Companies
positions
Correct subject-verb agreement
position
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its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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products
Use synonyms
 as improved and upgraded
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 to differentiate them from many competitors. Highlighting the unique features in functionality, technology, or design can draw consumers' attention.
For example
Linking Words
, when selling sneakers, their lightweight and breathable features are stressed. By comparing them to previous models, the new design's advantages
are
Verb problem
apply
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standed
Correct your spelling
stand
 out to encourage more people to purchase.
In addition
Linking Words
, consumers are showing significantly greater interest in new things. They
are
Verb problem
apply
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desire to possess the
lastest
Use the right word
latest
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products
Use synonyms
. They are typically drawn to novelty and psychologically more inclined to buy a new product for the sense of pride it brings.
For instance
Linking Words
, as soon as a
nwe
Correct your spelling
new
 phone model starts to sell, a lot of people rush to buy it, believing that new is always best. That's why the ad's claim of new caught their attention. In my view, I think it has positive aspects. All advertisements promote the concept of new will
dirve
Correct your spelling
drive
 growth in the consumer industry. Corporations will invest more resources into developing new
products
Use synonyms
, thereby boosting consumer purchasing interest and propelling the advancement of society as a whole. What's more,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon can enhance our quality of life. In conclusion, I believe that
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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emphasise
Wrong verb form
emphasising
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 that their
products
Use synonyms
 are new can help to raise
creation
Correct article usage
the creation
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 of other
rigid
Correct word choice
related
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products
Use synonyms
 and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
facilitate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development. The most important thing is that people should
also
Linking Words
 practice rational consumption.

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structure
Plan your answer in two parts. Start with a short intro that says your view and what you will write about. Finish with a short conclusion.
language
Use small, clear grammar. Check words like 'standed' and 'nwe' and fix them to 'stood' and 'new'.
content
Give 2-3 clear ideas. For each idea, add one fact or example to show it.
coherence
Link ideas with small glue words (also, but, because, for example) so the lines flow together.
strength
Your view is clear: you think new care in ads is a good thing.
strength
You use examples to back up your point, like phones or shoes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • novelty
  • excitement
  • latest trends
  • improvements
  • advancements
  • differentiating
  • competitors
  • innovation
  • progress
  • attracting attention
  • generating curiosity
What to do next:
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