You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In recent times, computers have become quite popular among
childrens
and it is debatable that does the Correct your spelling
children
use
of computers daily Use synonyms
have
more negative effects compared to positive ones. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
This
essay will discuss about pros and cons of overuse and why I agree with the notion.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the Linking Words
excess
Replace the word
excessive
use
of anything can be harmful, even if it is a healthy activity. Use synonyms
Similarly
, kids who Linking Words
use
electronic gadgets Use synonyms
everyday
can be dangerous in numerous ways. Replace the word
every day
For Instance
, the blue light illuminating from the computer screens can Linking Words
effect
children's eyes negatively Correct your spelling
affect
that
they might need to wear spectacles in future. Correct word choice
and
Furthermore
, most of them don't have ergonomic chairs Linking Words
due to
which they sit with an incorrect posture, Linking Words
that
may lead to body pain and cervical. Correct pronoun usage
which
Therefore
, it is significant to Linking Words
use
computers for limited hours.
Use synonyms
In contrast
, the advocates who are in favour of daily Linking Words
use
, argue that modern schools give their Use synonyms
homeworks
on the apps which require laptops or ipads almost daily. Correct your spelling
homework
Consequently
, these gadgets can help them in learning more Linking Words
everyday
, which will make them smart and confident. Replace the word
every day
For example
, my niece recently bought a Linking Words
chromebook
to do her maths homework on an application called Mathlytics, Change the capitalization
Chromebook
this
app is only for maths Linking Words
while
there are other websites for different subjects, Linking Words
as a result
, she needs to Linking Words
use
it Use synonyms
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
However
, Linking Words
this
will potentially make her laptop addict.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I believe Linking Words
overdose
of anything can cause distress, be it Correct article usage
an overdose
a
medicine or electronics. It will not only Correct article usage
apply
effect
mentally but physically Correct your spelling
affect
aswell
. Even though Correct your spelling
as well
if
there are Correct word choice
apply
postive
aspects Correct your spelling
positive
but
health should always be the first priority.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by moazzamm2 on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction, clarifying whether the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement about computer use.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects logically to the next. For example, while the pros and cons are brought up, transitions between them could be smoother.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or evidence to strongly support the main points, which would improve the argument's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer’s viewpoint and includes a recommendation for limited computer use.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the topic clearly, showing a complete structure.
task achievement
The essay uses an example from personal experience, which adds a personal touch and relevance to the points being made.