Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that whether in which century
technology
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is vital to mankind development.From my perspective,I partly agree with the view
of
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that
show examples
earlier technological developments can
gave
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give
show examples
more advantages to
people
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's
live
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lives
show examples
than nowadays technological development. On the one hand,in the earlier
years
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years,
show examples
technology
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to some extent
make
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made
show examples
a
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apply
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big progress in mankind's progress.
Firstly
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,we have
computer
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computers
show examples
in that period,which can allow us
communicated
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to communicate
show examples
without the distance difficult.Especially in
commercial
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a commercial
the commercial
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area
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areas
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,it
make
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makes
show examples
many companies
broard
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broad
their
outsea
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outset
business.
Secondly
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,the mobile phone was invented by the scientist.
This
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have
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has
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a big influence
for
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on
show examples
people
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's
live
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lives
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
,they can communicate with their friends and relatives
everytime
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every time
show examples
and if they have something emergency
that
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they
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can quickly call the
people
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they want.
Finally
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,these
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technology
Replace the word
technological
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products
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lead
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led
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the
people
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at that time can see the outside world and know more
informations
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information
pieces of information
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from other areas. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
,we need to acknowledge that today's society is around by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
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people
Use synonyms
's
live
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lives
show examples
can not leave
technology
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products
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.Online payment is one of the wonderful
inventation
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invention
inventions
in
todays
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today's
show examples
life.
For instance
Linking Words
,we can go outside without
bring
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bringing
show examples
any cash,but only a mobile phone.If you want to
but
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buy
show examples
something just show your payment QR cord.It is really convenient for
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people
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people's
show examples
daily life shopping
also
Linking Words
thats
Correct your spelling
that
can reduce the rate of crime because the
theft
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thief
show examples
can not find any money in
people
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's
bag
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bags
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,we have
online
Add an article
an online
show examples
shopping
app
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apps
show examples
,
such
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as
taobao
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Taobao
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and
jingdong
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Jingdong
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which means
people
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no
Verb problem
do not
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need to go out and just use
these app
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this app
these apps
show examples
can buy everything they want.They can not only
compares
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compare
show examples
the prices,but
also
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can have
a
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an
show examples
online chat with the store boss to know the details of the
products
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they like.
Although
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different times have different
technology
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products
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,all of them can make
people
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accept more pieces of information and give a more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
society environment.We need to keep improving our
technology
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ability and try to make a high-quality life for
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, try to address the topic question more directly in your introduction. Explicitly state your level of agreement or disagreement with the statement and outline your main points clearly.
coherence
Enhance coherence by organizing your ideas logically. Each paragraph should cover one main idea and should be clearly connected to the essay topic.
coherence
Your essay will benefit from more varied transition phrases to link ideas and sentences, which will improve cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic and a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
You provide examples of technological developments from both earlier and more recent times, showing a balanced view.
coherence
You attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which adds a sense of balance to your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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