IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #information #research #business #world
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Many people assume that it is wise to distribute
plentiful
Correct word choice
as much
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knowledge
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 as possible in scientific
research
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, business , and the academic world. Others think that some insight is too crucial to be shared liberally. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
about
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apply
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both of their perspectives
why
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on why
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knowledge
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 and
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 are essential for scientific
research
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,
bussiness
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business
, and the academic field
as well as
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 why it is vital to spread important valuable
data
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 openly. In my opinion,
by
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apply
show examples
spreading
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
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 amount of
knowledge
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 and
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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are
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is
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 useful for every expects in
this
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 world. Getting essential and needed
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 will lead to greater
oppurtunities
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opportunities
as well as
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success
Correct article usage
a success
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 rate.
For example
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, A student who wants to study archeology but
he don't
Wrong verb form
doesn't
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 know much about the road map and other
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informations
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information
pieces of information
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 which will guide his destiny
therefore
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, he can
research
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 on
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 where
vast
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a vast
the vast
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 amount of insights are available for free
for
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apply
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him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that's how he will
research
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 and study about his goal and can make decisions wisely.
On the other hand
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, those who think that important and vital insights are too valuable to share without any cost. Nowadays,
data
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,
knowledege
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knowledge
, and
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 are everywhere on
internet
Add an article
the internet
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but
Correct word choice
and
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 most of the valuable
data
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 is free
but
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apply
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there are some crucial
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Correct quantifier usage
pieces of informations
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 and
knowledge
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should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 not be provided freely
due to
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increasing
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the increasing
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 crime rate.
For instance
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, if a criminal finds out
that
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apply
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how to use a weapon precisely with
that free
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that free information
those free informations
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informations
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that
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will
occur
Verb problem
cause
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 serious devastating distractions in law
inforcement
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enforcement
. In conclusion,
in
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from
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 my clear point of view, I think that providing essential and good
knowledge
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 and
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informations
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information
pieces of information
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 can make
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future for a student.
In contrast
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, spreading valuable
data
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 might
arise
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raise
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 criminal activity more sufficiently.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you mention some points, they would benefit from further expansion and explanation. Dive deeper into the reasons behind each viewpoint and offer more detailed reasoning to support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your arguments are logically organized. Although you provide a structure, enhancing the logical progression of your ideas can increase coherence.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives as required by the prompt and provides a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduce the topic and conclude with a clear personal opinion, which strengthens your essay's structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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