Some pople think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work intead of bering put behind bars. To what extend do you agree?
Some people believe that
prisoners
should do some unpaid work
for the community
instead
of staying behind bars. I completely agree with this
viewpoint because it allows prisoners
to feel like a part of the community
, and they can gain some experiences.
Prisoners
feel that they are a part of the community
because of their unpaid work
. As prisoners
remain isolated from society because of their deeds, community
work
helps to eliminate that feeling of isolation in them. If they engage themselves in unpaid community
work
, they will have that feeling that they have done some wrong, and they are paying back to the community
through their unpaid work
. For example
, in Australia, prisoners
engage in gardening and cleaning the streets of the community
without payment, and this
work
helps them to contribute to the community
.
Moreover
, unpaid community
work
allows prisoners
to gain some experience. When their punishment will be
fulfilled, they will find Wrong verb form
is
jobs
with the help of that
experiences. Voluntary Correct determiner usage
those
community
work
will prepare them for the job market, and help them to earn their livelihood. If they can secure jobs
with voluntary experiences, there are fewer chances of engaging in crime again. For example
, in Japan, prisoners
work
a certain period of their imprisonment in the local community
. They construct buildings and with that experience, they find jobs
after completing their imprisonments.
In conclusion, I completely agree that prisoners
should work
voluntarily in the community
. They feel themselves as a part of the community
through their work
. Moreover
, with this
experience, they find jobs
in the future.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
While the essay is clear and on-topic, adding a counterargument could show deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly with transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets up the structure of the essay well.
task achievement
You consistently provide relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your task response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and addresses the main points discussed.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite