Some pople think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work intead of bering put behind bars. To what extend do you agree?

#pople #prisoners #community #work #intead #bars

Some people believe that

prisoners

should do some unpaid

work

for the

community

instead

of staying behind bars. I completely agree with

this

viewpoint because it allows

prisoners

to feel like a part of the

community

, and they can gain some experiences.

Prisoners

feel that they are a part of the

community

because of their unpaid

work

. As

prisoners

remain isolated from society because of their deeds,

community

work

helps to eliminate that feeling of isolation in them. If they engage themselves in unpaid

community

work

, they will have that feeling that they have done some wrong, and they are paying back to the

community

through their unpaid

work

For example

, in Australia,

prisoners

engage in gardening and cleaning the streets of the

community

without payment, and

this

work

helps them to contribute to the

community

Moreover

, unpaid

community

work

allows

prisoners

to gain some experience. When their punishment

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

fulfilled, they will find

jobs

with the help of

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

experiences. Voluntary

community

work

will prepare them for the job market, and help them to earn their livelihood. If they can secure

jobs

with voluntary experiences, there are fewer chances of engaging in crime again.

For example

, in Japan,

prisoners

work

a certain period of their imprisonment in the local

community

. They construct buildings and with that experience, they find

jobs

after completing their imprisonments. In conclusion, I completely agree that

prisoners

should

work

voluntarily in the

community

. They feel themselves as a part of the

community

through their

work

Moreover

, with

this

experience, they find

jobs

in the future.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Thu Oct 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the essay is clear and on-topic, adding a counterargument could show deeper analysis.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly with transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets up the structure of the essay well.

task achievement

You consistently provide relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your task response.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and addresses the main points discussed.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is said that the number of suburbs population has decreased since people are moving to the urban areas. This phenomenon could not be separated by the convenience that the city offers. However, I do think that this movement can cause several damages in the rural circles of life which will be discussed below.
5.5
band
The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion
While some people believe that the government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care, others argue that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Both point of views and reason why I agree the former statement will be elaborated on in this essay.
6
band
Nowadays many students choose to study abroad at university level. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.
In this contemporary era, the majority of pupils are selected to study in the oversee for their university life. Meanwhile, there might be certain drawbacks for the student who makes this decision. But from my point of view, learning in foreign countries has substantial benefits.
4
band
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)
In my country, it is a common that many firms should pay taller salaries to the leader more than the workers. It is not because an exploitation, but it means they deserve it, who have to take more responsibilities for the company. In my perspective, I totally agree that the executives should receive more incomes greater pay than workers those who report to them, CEOs are workers too.
5
band
You work for an international company,and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. write a letter to your manager.in your letter explain why you want to work in the companys hear office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it
Having been working for many years in your reputed company ,I would request you to grant me the permission to work from Head office for six months.

Some pople think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work intead of bering put behind bars. To what extend do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays many students choose to study abroad at university level. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)