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Band 7.5

Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience

#people #activities #time #data
A group of
individuals
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
 the view that free-
time
activities
 should be planned,
whereas
 others believe that spontaneous, unplanned
activities
 offer a better experience. I strongly agree with the former opinion, as planned
activities
 allow for better
time
 management and often lead to a more balanced and productive lifestyle. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that planning free-
time
activities
 can maximize their effectiveness. By organizing how to spend one’s leisure hours,
individuals
 can ensure a balance between productivity and relaxation.
For example
, setting aside
time
 for exercise, social gatherings, or personal growth
activities
 like workshops can contribute significantly to a well-rounded routine and improved quality of life. They
also
 present the sound argument that a planned schedule allows
individuals
 to pursue a broader range of interests. A weekend trip that has been carefully organized,
for instance
, can turn out to be more enjoyable and fulfilling because detailed preparation helps avoid
last
-minute stress and makes the best use of
time
.
On the other hand
, another group of people claim that leaving free
time
 unplanned provides a valuable break from structured routines, allowing
individuals
 to relax and follow their instincts. They insist that the flexibility of unplanned
time
 can lead to spontaneous joy and stress relief, aligning well with the purpose of leisure itself.
However
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing, as unstructured free
time
,
while
 relaxing, may not always translate into fulfilling or memorable experiences.
While
 spontaneous outings can sometimes bring unexpected joy, they often result in wasted
time
due to
 a lack of direction or purpose.
This
 inconsistency makes spontaneous free
time
 less reliable for building a balanced lifestyle.
To conclude
, in my view, planning free-
time
activities
 is generally more beneficial. Structured planning allows for a balanced approach to productivity and relaxation, leading to a more satisfying lifestyle.
Moreover
,
while
 spontaneity can be enjoyable, it lacks the consistency and sense of accomplishment that planned
activities
 often provide.
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples from personal experience or broader data to strengthen the argument. This will enhance the task achievement score by demonstrating the ability to support your arguments with tangible evidence.
coherence cohesion
While the essay maintains coherence, there could be further improvement in transitions between the paragraphs. Ensure that every shift in topic is clearly signposted to guide the reader smoothly through your ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong argument for planned activities, clearly outlining the benefits such as better time management and a balanced lifestyle.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained with clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph connects well with the central thesis, providing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • free time
  • planned activities
  • unplanned activities
  • time management
  • spontaneous enjoyment
  • efficiency
  • balance
  • flexibility
  • anecdotal evidence
  • scheduling
  • unstructured
  • unexpected joy
  • stress relief
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