IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic problem. 1.Do you agree or disagree. 2. What other measures do you think might be affected.

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Traffic
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congestion
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 has become a significant issue in
cities
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 worldwide, and some argue that raising
petrol
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 prices is the most effective way to address
this
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 problem.
While
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 I acknowledge that
this
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 measure could reduce
traffic
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 to some extent, I believe it is not the best solution. Other strategies could be more effective in tackling the root causes of
congestion
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.
To begin
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 with, increasing the price of
petrol
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 may indeed discourage some
people
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 from driving, leading to a reduction in the number of vehicles on the road.
However
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, the impact of
this
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 measure is likely limited and could disproportionately affect low-income individuals. Many
people
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 rely on private
cars
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 for commuting, particularly in
cities
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 with limited public transportation options, and an increase in
petrol
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 costs would place an additional financial burden on them.
This
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 approach may
also
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 prove ineffective in reducing
congestion
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 if
people
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 who can afford higher fuel costs continue to drive,
while
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 others are forced to compromise on their mobility options.
Thus
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,
while
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petrol
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 price hikes could have a short-term effect, they are unlikely to resolve the problem entirely. In my opinion, a more comprehensive approach that addresses the underlying issues of
traffic
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congestion
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 is needed. One effective measure could be improving public transportation systems. By providing efficient, reliable, and accessible alternatives,
such
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 as buses, trains, and trams, governments can make public transport a more attractive choice, encouraging
people
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 to leave their
cars
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 at home.
For example
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,
cities
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 like Tokyo and Singapore have managed
traffic
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 issues effectively by investing heavily in public transit infrastructure. Another potential solution is to promote carpooling and ride-sharing. Incentives for using shared vehicles can significantly reduce the number of
cars
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 on the road, especially during peak hours.
Furthermore
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, urban planning initiatives
such
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 as expanding bicycle lanes and pedestrian areas can encourage eco-friendly and space-efficient modes of transport, reducing the dependency on
cars
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.
Additionally
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, implementing
congestion
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 charges in high-
traffic
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 zones could discourage unnecessary car trips, which has proven successful in
cities
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 like London. In conclusion,
while
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 raising
petrol
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 prices may play a role in alleviating
traffic
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 problems, it is unlikely to be the most effective solution. Investing in public transportation, promoting alternative travel modes, and implementing urban planning policies would provide more sustainable and long-term benefits in reducing
congestion
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 in urban areas.

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task achievement
Ensure all points are balanced equally throughout the essay. The initial argument is well-presented, but consider expanding on counterarguments for a more robust approach.
coherence cohesion
Maintain the clear logical flow exhibited in the essay, and ensure every paragraph transitions seamlessly into the next.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, both clearly stating the position and summarizing key points effectively.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as references to Tokyo, Singapore, and London.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • traffic jams
  • public transport
  • alternative means of transportation
  • cycling
  • carpooling
  • economic impact
  • financial strain
  • commute
  • inadequate public transportation
  • carpooling lanes
  • bike lanes
  • dedicated public transport routes
  • public transport infrastructure
  • investing
  • congestion charges
  • peak times
  • navigable
  • flexible working hours
  • remote working
  • rush hours
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