In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

In
this
contemporary epoch, the way that we raise our offspring has transformed. In some nations, adolescents are told that they can accomplish any target if they concentrate more and work harder. In
this
essay, both the benefits and hazards of
this
suggestion will be illustrated. On the one hand, if we give our youths advice in a superior way, their sense of positivity and acceptance will be elevated. They will be able to listen to their parents.
This
will encourage them to work and they will be satisfied.
Moreover
,
this
will help youths to share what they have done with their peers.
This
will generate robust bonds. It can elevate the interaction between them and the community.
According to
a study conducted by Manchester University, the children who received guidance from their peers, their interaction and trustworthiness escalated between them.
This
has a positive effect on society and increases productivity.
On the other hand
, some individuals do not have the capability to deliver advice to others. The child will believe that they are pushed
instead
of fostered.
This
will create an obstinate character in the next generation.
Additionally
, some of these messages will be translated into burdens.
This
will make pupils feel tied.
Furthermore
, it can affect their confidence and they will lose it over time. In his book, Child Advice, Professor Malina Jone highlighted that youths from age ten to twenty are more sensitive to obtaining any message. Parents should be supportive of them by interacting with them more. In conclusion, from what has been aforementioned above, people should be aware of the way that they treat their youngsters. The government should be involved and support them with programs and initiatives if they are struggling.
Submitted by manikumarchowdary111 on

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coherence
Clarify the main points in each paragraph to improve clarity and comprehension. For instance, clearly state the advantages in one paragraph and the disadvantages in another.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to substantiate your points further. This will enhance task achievement by providing stronger evidence for your arguments.
coherence
Avoid using overly formal or complex phrases when simpler language can deliver your point more effectively.
coherence
The essay has a clear structure, with a defined introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
The task response is comprehensive, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the statement, which shows a full understanding of the task.
coherence
Logical analysis is provided, which helps in supporting the main points made about the potential benefits and drawbacks of the message given to children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Encouragement
  • Motivation
  • Determination
  • Work Ethic
  • Persistence
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Challenges
  • Unrealistic Expectations
  • Disappointment
  • Frustration
  • Limitations
  • External Factors
  • Pressure
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Mental Health
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