Why do some people who leave school early are more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Give reasons why they are more successful and what is required to be successful ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a statement that
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals who drop out of
school
Use synonyms
become more successful in
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
to graduating
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
.
Although
Linking Words
there are many cases that
are challenged
Wrong verb form
challenge
show examples
this
Linking Words
notion, the lucky people present their reasons. In
this
Linking Words
essay, we will discuss why they achieve more, and which factors are essential in
this
Linking Words
matter. There are many factors that have
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
impact on human achievements
such
Linking Words
as the time and energy that are allocated
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Use synonyms
or university,
are
Correct pronoun usage
which are
show examples
assigned to the main goals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the people who leave their education, can focus on their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and learn crucial skills during their work in
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
instead
Linking Words
of learning unnecessary subjects in the
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the employees who start their work sooner can acquire more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
and personalize skills which are more effective
to catch
Change preposition
in catching
show examples
their favorable position in a
acompany
Correct your spelling
company
or
run
Wrong verb form
running
show examples
their own businesses. Meanwhile, the
garaduates
Correct your spelling
graduates
after several years should find jobs without any eye-catching resume in
such
Linking Words
a
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
job market.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some vital requirements for succeeding like being passionate, having
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
mindset, believing in yourself, and other things.
Although
Linking Words
there is not a constant formula to become fortunate, these criteria are the most common
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
successful individuals. In conclusion, some people who leave their
school
Use synonyms
early are more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
compared to those who finish their studies. They
allocating
Wrong verb form
allocate
show examples
their time and energy to their targets
instead
Linking Words
of
waisting
Correct your spelling
wasting
show examples
on
school
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, many factors can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
success paths
such
Linking Words
as passion, positive
thougths
Correct your spelling
thoughts
, and
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly related to the topic. This will help in maintaining a logical structure and making your points more compelling.
task achievement
While discussing the reasons for success, try to provide a balanced view by considering arguments on both sides. Additionally, elaborate more on the consequences and deeper implications of leaving school early.
task achievement
Provide more examples and evidence to support your claims. This will make your arguments more persuasive and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic clearly in the introduction and also provides a conclusion at the end, which contributes to a good overall structure.
task achievement
The essay considers different factors that contribute to success, such as passion and self-belief, showing insight into the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-made
  • Entrepreneur
  • Innovative
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical skills
  • Networking
  • Credentials
  • Dedication
  • Motivation
  • Risk-taking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: