In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

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There are some advantages and disadvantages of working for a long year and the retirement age has been getting bigger.

For instance

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, a company can earn more profit when there are many workers.

However

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, old people can easily get tired.

Therefore

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this

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argument will be helpful in increasing the retirement age or not.

To begin

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with, there are some positive things to increasing the elderliness. First of all, companies can increase their profits more because they have many workers even though they are old.

This

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means that employees in the company can earn more income than before.

Moreover

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, the elderly can earn more money, so that they can live without any problems after they retire from their company.

This

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means that old people can live a relaxed life.

On the other hand

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, there are some negative things too. Second of all, when people increase their elderly, they might not have enough time to do whatever they want to do.

Such

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as travelling to other countries or playing with grandsons and so on.

Additionally

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, increasing the number of elderly will be related to their health.

For instance

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, using a laptop for a long time will result in bad eyesight.

Moreover

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, working for too long hours per day is not good for the body's health. In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages of increasing the elderly.

For example

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, they could earn more money, but they might not have enough time to go somewhere else or do the things that they want to do. In my opinion, I think increasing the retirement age has more disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

dokmally2Sat Oct 26 2024

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support

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clarity

Clarify the main ideas in each paragraph for better comprehension.

structure

Strive to maintain a clear and logical structure to enhance coherence.

task response

Consider addressing all aspects of the task question to fully achieve the task response.

structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

balance

You provide both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
pension systems
financial pressure
economic growth
workforce
retirement savings
skills and knowledge transfer
job opportunities
health challenges
work-life balance
societal resistance
burnout
productivity
well-being

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In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

now a days, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the country side. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Recent developments in technology have made the T.V screen so live that people not need to go for any live performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree

An international company is offering a temporary job for work experience, write a letter to apply for that job. You need to explain -where did you find this information -why you want to apply this job -what qualification you have -what position you want to apply