IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea ora waste of time?

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #ora #waste #time
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It is argued that many
students
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 prefer to take a gap year before starting
university
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. The options lead to
travel
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 or gain
work
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experience
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 and
this
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 essay thinks that
this
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 is a good idea
instead
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 of wasting time. The reason why
this
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 is a good idea is because travelling can enhance their personal
skills
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while
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 working
experience
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 can grow their professional
skills
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. Those
skills
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 are needed when they study
in
Change preposition
at
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university
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.
To begin
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 with,
travel
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 can enhance their social
skill
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 because they can meet new people and adapt to new
culture
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cultures
show examples
.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, meeting new people
require
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requires
show examples
 them to communicate and
undertand
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understand
 the context or the topics
while
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discussed
Wrong verb form
discussing
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 with local people.
With
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Such
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such
Linking Words
experience
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 that they've got, it
also
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 can lead to
enhance
Replace the word
the enhancement
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for
Change preposition
of
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 their social and communication
skill
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.
For instance
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,
There
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there
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 are lots of volunteering
program
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programs
show examples
 where
students
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took
Wrong verb form
take
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 part and
travel
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 to South Africa for three months to help
local
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the local
show examples
 community develop their library. These programs are not only to give
travel
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experience
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 but
also
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 to give them exposure to different
culture
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cultures
show examples
 and social-economy
background
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backgrounds
show examples
 so that they can adapt quickly
in
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to
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 new
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
. It will
also
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the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 same situation with
university
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 where they need to learn quickly.
Moreover
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,
work
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experience
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 can develop
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 professional
skill
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 needed in
university
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. Workforce
skills
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such
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 as problem-solving
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skill
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skills
show examples
, following
instruction
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instructions
show examples
 and finishing
work
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 on time are useful for the
students
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 when they try to finish their assignments.
This
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 can come from the simple
work
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experience
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 in fast food chains
such
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 as KFC or
Mc Donalds
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McDonald's
show examples
 where they
work
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 as drive-thru service. They can learn how to understand the customers' needs,
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 the standard operating procedures and
work
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 fast because the customers are waiting. In conclusion, there
are
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is
show examples
 no wasted time when it comes to acquiring new
skills
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 whether through travelling or
work
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experience
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.
This
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 essay thinks that
students
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 can take a gap year before going to
univesity
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university
 and it is a good idea because they can enhance their personal
skills
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 and
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
skills
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 which are needed in the
university
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.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by clearly organizing paragraphs. Consider using topic sentences and transition words for smoother flow.
task achievement
Develop ideas with more depth and detail to clarify comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Include a variety of transition signals to better link ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing main points effectively.
task achievement
Ideas are relevant to the task, with specific examples provided to support main points.
task achievement
The response addresses the topic comprehensively, considering both travel and work experience aspects of a gap year.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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