IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comaprisons where relevant. Write atleast 150 words

Throughout the years, interest in harbours has increased
due to
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 the emergence of various water-related activities
such
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 as kayaking, yacht parties, sailing, fishing, and many more. Naturally, with the increasing tourism, developments will be made to
further
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 increase the interest in the
area
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. The images show the difference between how Porth
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harbour
Capitalize word
Harbour
show examples
 looked
like
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apply
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in 2000 and today. The plans present the activities and facilities available in the
harbour
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.
Moreover
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, it depicts the roads and connections between the amenities. Porth
harbour
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 in 2000 had only the basic facilities near the main road
such
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 as an
area
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 for showers and toilets and, two carparks. In front of the showers and toilets, a marina for private yachts can be found. Below
this
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 marina, an
area
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 for fishing boats has been provided.
At the end
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 of the southeast road, there is a
dock
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 for a lifeboat.
Further
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 south, a public beach and an unused castle can be seen. A
dock
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 for passenger ferries and a public beach can be seen at the northeastern shoreline. Today, additional areas for showers, toilets and, a carpark have been added to the south side from the original facilities.
Furthermore
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, the marina and the
area
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 for fishing boats were switched. A café shop was built on the west side of the
dock
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 for the lifeboat. The unused castle was converted into a hotel and the beach was closed off to the public and was only made available for hotel guests. Another
dock
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 was added in the northeast
area
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 beside the previous one. A rise in tourism will necessitate the need for improvements in the
area
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 to accommodate the influx of people. Port
Harbour
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 is a great example of how tourism affects the development of an
area
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the comparisons between the 2000 harbour and today's harbour are explicitly clear and well-organized. The essay provides a good amount of detail but could benefit from clearer differentiation between the past and present arrangements.
task achievement
While you covered the main features and changes of the harbour, further elaboration on some key differences would enhance the clarity of your response. Also, try to make the introduction more concise to allow for more focus on the changes and relevant comparisons.
task achievement
The essay captures a comprehensive overview of the harbour's development with attention to various amenities and structural changes.
coherence cohesion
A logical and clear flow is maintained throughout the description, making it easy for readers to follow the distinctions and developments over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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