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The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #contact #century #development
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These days, technology has been developing immediately, so we can see that
people
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 use social
media
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 namely, Facebook or Twitter to interact with each other.
while
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 social
media
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 has several merits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one side, the benefits of social
media
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 are so varied.
Firstly
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, the population who are far from their not only families but
also
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 friends can connect with them from other regions.
Secondly
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, when you have an account on social
media
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, you are able to interact with global inhabitants; in fact, your knowledge about other cultures, histories, and so on improves;
additionally
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, you can see a lot of fascinating nature and places, but you do not invest a great deal of cost for travelling to these countries. On the other side,
this
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 type of interaction has different demerits. On the one hand, in the new era, most
people
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 have mental issues owing to the fact that a number of them spend their free time in their homes and their relationships with other
people
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 are by social
media
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instead
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 of the prior time that
people
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 had face-to-face contact.
On the other hand
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, if
people
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 share their situation on their pages, the other communities know about when they are at home or their position.
In other words
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, the rate of burglary climbs inasmuch as the thief knows when
people
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 leave their homes.
To sum up
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, the fact
that is
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 really important is that social
media
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 has a negative effect on our mental health and wealth;
consequently
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, its bad points can eclipse the good points.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when discussing the negative impact of social media on mental health, you can reference studies or specific statistics that support your point.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas. Some points can be further developed for better clarity and understanding. For example, consider elaborating on how social media interactions lead to mental health issues with more explanation.
coherence and cohesion
The essay successfully introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion, guiding the reader through the arguments presented.
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