Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
Some
people
argue that, due to
the advancement of technology
people
have become closer, while
others argue that new technology
is the reason to separate people
more. This
essay agrees with the argument that “new technology
makes people
closer” and discusses it further
.
On the one hand, technology
has improved the methods we have been using to communicate with each other and provides more facilities. In the beginning, basic devices used for communication, such
as telephone, telegraph machines, mail etc…, which provided facilities for only voice calls, have been improved gradually and at the moment people
are able to conduct virtual meetings via video conferencing facilities provided by social media, internet, smartphones etc. Moreover
, with the support of internet coverage, smartphones and social media have enabled people
to a limitless, instant communication regardless of location. For instance, before few years ago, in my department, if there is
a need to conduct an official meeting, all participants had to gather in one place and conduct the meeting physically. But at present, almost all of the meetings are conducted online via Zoom, which provides the same experience and Wrong verb form
was
fulfills
the requirements of the meeting.
Change the spelling
fulfils
On the other hand
, heavy usage of the internet and social media makes people
spend more time with their laptops and smartphones, which results in the reduction of physical gatherings. Due to
the above, the separation between people
has increased. The new generation of youth is the best example of this
issue. But this
issue can be overcome by implementing proper activities among youth, which will make them engage in more physical activities.
In conclusion, I believe that the new technology
supports people
to become closer, regardless of time and location. However
, proper measures should be taken to avoid addictions.Submitted by dmsangeeth on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
improvement
Consider strengthening your conclusion by succinctly restating the main points discussed in the essay. This helps reinforce your arguments and gives a more robust end to your response.
improvement
While your ideas are clearly expressed, you could vary sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement.
improvement
Some minor grammatical errors are present, such as using 'the advancement of technology' instead of 'advancement of technology.' Proofreading for such small issues can refine your essay further.
content
The essay effectively outlines both sides of the argument, providing a balanced analysis that demonstrates strong task response skills.
structure
The introduction clearly states the essay's position, making it easy for readers to understand the perspective from the outset.
examples
Usage of a personal example to illustrate the positive side of technology in communication is relevant and strengthens your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!