IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All children should be made to wear school uniform. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #uniform
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Some educational centres require their
students
Use synonyms
 to wear uniforms, in order to look all equal. I fully agree with
this
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 idea, and I feel
this
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 way for several reasons that I will explain throughout the essay.
First,
Linking Words
unifying all people at school is a great solution to reduce the differences and gaps between
students
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' social classes, and
this
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 is because sometimes even when they are in the same institution their parents have a wide variety in their income.
For instance
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, nowadays is very common to find that some
students
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 have a scholarship
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because their parents can not afford the tuition fee.
Therefore
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, when they are wearing the same
clothes
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 is very hard to
make
Verb problem
apply
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differentiation
Replace the word
differentiate
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 between them.
Secondly
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, when they wear the same uniform every week, they are saving on their regular
clothes
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, which are usually much more expensive than their institutional uniform. In
this
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 way parents can save more money, even if they sometimes think that
this
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 approach is more expensive than wearing their regular
clothes
Use synonyms
,
For example
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, I remember that my mother used to buy me my scrubs just once a year and always was enough for the entire scholar period. In consequence, she could save some money after all.
Third,
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when children wear their regular
clothes
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 every day they can lose the special value they feel for their favorite items, so they won't have special outfits for different occasions.
For example
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, when I was a kid, on Fridays I looked forward to wearing my special pants or sneakers, but if I had worn them every day, I would not have had the same feeling. In conclusion,
that is
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 why I consider that unifying the
students
Use synonyms
 at school is a magnificent proposal.
Submitted by katina.marinakisossa on

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task achievement
Make sure to introduce the essay with a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the essay prompt. This will strengthen your introduction and make your standpoint clearer.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Also consider paragraphing carefully to ensure each idea is explored thoroughly before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Include a wider variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and accuracy. This will help improve the readability of your essay and can increase your score in both coherence and cohesion, as well as task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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