Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays,
smartphones
are used in every
people’s
Fix the agreement mistake
person’s
show examples
life especially young individuals
such
as
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
and children. A few children waste hours in their daily activities on their
smartphones
.
This
essay will support a negative development
than
Rephrase
rather than
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a positive development from my perspective.
Firstly
, students who spend a lot of time on their
smartphones
can cause an issue of their mentality
due to
the fact that they experienced
a
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apply
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cyberbullying on
the
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apply
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social media.
For example
, a
children
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child
show examples
read a lot of hate comments in their one photo
which
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apply
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posted on Instagram.
In addition
, the usage of
smartphones
that
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which
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are very intensive, might addict the children’s brains to use hours every day because of the feeling of curiosity when they win the game match
in
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on
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their phone.
For instance
, a young person who played Mobile Legend
,
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apply
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tends to want to play again in the next match.
On the other hand
,
while
spend
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spending
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hours
of
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on
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smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
show examples
can bring many disadvantages, it
also
give
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gives
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some advantages. Parents who give a smartphone to their kids to study subjects at
school
and search a meaningful information, can hone the child’s skills and increase their subject marks at
school
. As an illustration, a student
middle
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in middle
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school
who wants to study and memorize
about
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apply
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biology whose topic is about bones inside of the human body, can use a search engine like
google
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Google
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on their phone to find the
name
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names
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of the bone types.
Thus
, they can have a good score when the
school
hold an exam
about
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in
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biology. In conclusion, using
smartphones
for a long time can bring negative developments
such
as
a
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apply
show examples
cyber bullying
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
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and
addicted
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addiction
show examples
.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
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apply
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contrast, the usage of
phone
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a phone
show examples
can bring some benefits if we use it when necessary for
study
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studying
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and
search
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searching for
show examples
information to increase our knowledge.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between ideas. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Be clear and concise in your argument. Consider rephrasing some ideas for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your perspective and sets up the essay. Well done!
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the points, such as the mention of a child reading hate comments and a student using a search engine. Great job!

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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