IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the income of four cafés in New York over last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features. Make comparisons where relevant

The graph shows the income of four cafés in New York over last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features. Make comparisons where relevant
#income #four #cafés #york #year #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph provides information about the changing trends in café
income
Use synonyms
 for four types of café (The tea room, Wi-fi café, Internet
express
Capitalize word
Express
show examples
,
Café
Correct word choice
and Café
show examples
cool
Capitalize word
Cool
show examples
) over the period from
January
Use synonyms
 to
December
Use synonyms
 of
last
Linking Words
 year. It can be clearly seen that New York’s cafe earned the largest amount of money on the Tea room type
while
Linking Words
 the least amount of
income
Use synonyms
 was earned by café cool between
January
Use synonyms
 to October. Starting at about 160,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
, the tea room
income
Use synonyms
 rose over the next two months to a peak of nearly 180,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 before
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 dramatically to approximately about 60,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
December
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Income
Correct article usage
The income
show examples
 of café cool earned
however
Linking Words
 was the lowest of all
income
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
, beginning at about 30,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
 and rising to 120,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 by
December
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the trend for Wi-fi café and Internet Express showed some fluctuation from month to month, there was
also
Linking Words
 an increase in
income
Use synonyms
 that was earned from about 50,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 and 100,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 to about 190,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 and 140,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
December
Use synonyms
, respectively. It is noticeable that the
income
Use synonyms
 for
Wi-fi
Correct article usage
the Wi-fi
show examples
 café is the highest in the winter months than the other three café.
Submitted by t.jenab on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words café, income, january, december, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "express" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income trends
  • Monthly income
  • Seasonal variations
  • Peak month
  • Decline in income
  • Annual income figures
  • Profitable
  • Extraordinary events
  • Sudden spikes/declines
  • External factors
  • Performance comparison
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