Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest taxpayers’ money in healthcare, while others believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. Keywords: government; health Type: Discussion
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In recent times, the spending structure of how the taxed
money
has become a hugely debated point. while
some people say that to use this
money
for healthcare
and others think that to spend in different places where it will benefit all the citizens.
on the one hand, people argue that the money
collected through taxes should go to healthcare
which will improve existing hospitals and the facilities available to them. However
, currently, most countries provide free healthcare
to their population, and people still think that investing in healthcare
will provide better treatment and attention to patients. For example
, Canada provides free healthcare
to everyone. However
, there are some drawbacks in the system like a shortage in the number of doctors available in some of the densely populated areas of big cities. So, It is said that spending more tax money
on healthcare
will help the government to bring in more doctors and serve the communities.
On the other hand
, many are discussing other important areas which need attention other than health care. I believe there is always room for development in schools, roads and more. Spending amount on these aspects will help several neighbourhoods's
in the country. Change the noun form
neighbourhoods
For instance
, there are many damaged roads that are badly affected by snow and various other reasons. These are required to be repaired in time to give travellers a smoother commute. Even though states are tirelessly working on developing infrastructure and developing, there is still more room to do more development. As great scholars say, countries need to have the best schools to raise a better generation and good infrastructure for its development.
To conclude
, Although
there is a requirement for progress in healthcare
. I think advancements in other factors are also
important as a whole.Submitted by manikumarchowdary111 on
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task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. The essay presents the main points regarding spending on healthcare versus other sectors but lacks a bit of depth in explaining each viewpoint. Consider further elaborating on why each sector is crucial for tax allocation.
coherence cohesion
Focus on enhancing logical structure with smoother transitions. While each paragraph is clearly dedicated to a separate viewpoint, the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be strengthened. Adding transition words or sentences could improve the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. You mention healthcare in Canada but could benefit from more specific illustrations related to how healthcare funds were utilized effectively or potential infrastructure improvements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. It neatly sets up the topic and summarizes the arguments effectively.
task achievement
You successfully address both points of view and provide your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The organization is logical with each body paragraph clearly delineating the different perspectives on tax spending.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?