IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that scientific research should be hold and controlled by the government instead of alwoing private companies. to what extend do u agree or disagree?

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There is an ongoing debate
whether
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about whether
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 scientific studies should be managed solely by the
government
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 or if private sectors should be permitted to conduct research independently.In my view, a balanced approach where
the
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apply
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government
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 oversight and the private
recearch
Correct your spelling
research
 are permitted is the most effective. The following paragraphs will explore both perspectives.
To begin
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 with, scientific research facilities
shoud
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should
primarly
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primarily
 be overseen by the
government
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.
This
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 is because unauthorized facilities may engage in risky or illegal activities without the acknowledgement of the authorities.
For instance
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, some sectors
intially
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initially
 registered as research facilities,
then
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additionally
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 discovered to be producing and distributing illegal
substance
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substances
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.
Therefore
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, it is
essencial
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essential
 that the
government
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 regulate these spaces to ensure compliance with national laws and public safety.
On the other hand
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,
although
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government
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 oversight is important,
scientists
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 often feel
pressered
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pressured
pressure
pressed
 under constant supervision, which can hinder their productivity.
Additionally
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, many
scientists
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 prefer to work in quiet, independent environments to maintain focus.
For example
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, a study at Oxford
university
Capitalize word
University
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 found that researchers' performance significantly decreased when they were closely monitored.
As a result
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, allowing
scientists
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 to conduct
reseach
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research
 in private areas can
creat
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create
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 a more productive and comfortable atmosphere. In conclusion,
while
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 it is essential for
scientists
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 to have some independence in their work,
governments
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government
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 oversight
remain
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remains
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cricial
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crucial
critical
 to ensure safety and adherence to national regulations. Ultimately, a balanced approach that combines freedom for researchers with periodic
monitor
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monitoring
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 by authorities can promote both innovation and public safety.

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in your ideas and arguments. Some points can be elaborated more specifically to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and avoid repetitive phrases for better engagement and readability.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the essay's professionalism.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced approach to the topic, presenting both sides of the argument thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph introduces a distinct idea, contributing to the overall flow and readability of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • socially responsible outcomes
  • corporate profit
  • profit motives
  • fundamental areas
  • long-term societal development
  • innovative research outcomes
  • mixed approach
  • stifle innovation
  • bureaucratic processes
  • breakthrough projects
  • commercial gain
  • scientific progress
  • public access
  • government funding
  • private sector
  • public benefit
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