IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You are a member of an International Students' club. The club is organising an event to celebrate popular food from around the world. Write a letter to the event organiser, Luis. In your letter • offer to make a popular dish from your country • describe what this dish is • explain why it should be included in the event

#member #students #club #event #food #world #organiser #luis #offer #dish #country
Hi Luis, I'm writing
this
 email regarding
about
Change preposition
apply
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the
food
 event
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 going to happen in a few days in our club. I would like to request to add
few
Correct article usage
a few
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items
(dosa and idly)
in
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to
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 the
food
 menu. In our club, the majority of students are
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
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,
adding
Correct word choice
and adding
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this menu
Change the determiner
this menu item
these menu items
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items
in
Change preposition
to
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 our
food
 menu definitely gain profit from
this
 event.
In addition
, even some
of
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apply
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local people
also
 love to eat
this
Change the determiner
this item
these items
show examples
items
. Especially providing
offer
Add an article
an offer
the offer
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to
Change preposition
for
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this
 item, more people are very interested
to attend
Change preposition
in attending
show examples
this
 event to grab the offer.
This
Change the determiner
This food item
These food items
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food
items
 is very special
food
 in our country, it
has contain
Wrong verb form
contains
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 more protein and nutrition in it.
In addition
, we can customize the
items
 in different
items
. Hoping for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive response. Regards Dhivya Ravi
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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general
Ensure each paragraph has a single central idea.
general
Try to maintain a clear logical flow between sentences.
task achievement
You addressed the task by offering to add specific dishes, describing them, and explaining their significance.
task achievement
The letter maintains a polite and suitable tone for the task.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and courteous.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enthusiastic
  • Contribution
  • Cuisine
  • Traditional
  • Ingredients
  • Preparation
  • Cultural significance
  • Celebrate
  • Diversity
  • Culinary traditions
  • National dish
  • Occasion
  • Unique attributes
  • Preparation method
  • Gourmet
  • Authentic
  • Flavorful
  • Recipe
  • Event arrangements
  • Showcase
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