IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is indisputable that
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of automobiles
exert
Change the verb form
exerts
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 a profound and wide-ranging influence on transporting methods.
Although
Linking Words
 using bikes, and walking is a more effective approach, particularly for environmentalists.
However
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, I contend that
while
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 using cars
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a pivotal and indispensable role in contemporary society, it
also
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 presents some negative consequences that should be overlooked.
While
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 it's not feasible or desirable to completely discourage
car
Use synonyms
 usage, implementing strategies to reduce
car
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 dependency is crucial. Encouraging the
use
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 of public
transportation
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, cycling, and walking can significantly alleviate these problems. Investing in efficient and reliable public
transportation
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 systems, creating pedestrian-friendly infrastructure, and promoting cycling can incentivize people to choose greener modes of transport.
Additionally
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, implementing policies
such
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 as congestion charges and parking restrictions can discourage unnecessary
car
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use
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 in urban areas.   In my own experience, I've witnessed the negative impacts of
car
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 dependency firsthand. Living in a city with heavy traffic, I often find myself stuck in gridlock, wasting precious time and energy.
The air
Correct article usage
Air
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 pollution is
also
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 a major concern, especially during peak hours. By choosing to walk, cycle, or
use
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 public transport whenever possible, I've not only reduced my carbon footprint but
also
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 improved my
overall
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 well-being. In conclusion, the unlimited
use
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 of cars poses significant environmental and societal challenges. Addressing these issues requires a multi-faceted approach that involves reducing
car
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 dependency and promoting sustainable
transportation
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 options. By encouraging the
use
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 of public
transportation
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, cycling, and walking, we can create healthier, more sustainable, and less congested cities for future generations.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss in the essay.
task response
Provide more specific examples to elaborate on your points further.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas with more transitional words to improve flow and clarity.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, anchoring your argument.
complete response
You successfully addressed the task by identifying problems and suggesting solutions.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with arguments followed by examples.
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