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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some People believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other People believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own choices has become a major topic discussed around the world. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own choices on everyday
matters
Use synonyms
 (
such
Linking Words
 as food, clothes and entertainment) is the best way forward,
while
Linking Words
 others argue
People
Use synonyms
 believe that it is important for
children
Use synonyms
 to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 about
matters
Use synonyms
 that affect them offers better solutions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both sides, exploring their benefits, challenges, and possible outcomes. It will
also
Linking Words
 explain why combining the strengths of both views could create the most effective and lasting solutions for society, communities, and organisations. On one hand, supporters of allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own choice on everyday
matters
Use synonyms
 (
such
Linking Words
 as food, clothes and entertainment) say it brings many benefits and improves areas like social life, the economy, or culture.
For example
Linking Words
, it helps maintain steady standards over time, ensuring things run smoothly.
This
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 approach encourages long-term planning, stability, and continuity, which are essential for organisations and governments to function well. It
also
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 builds confidence and security among
people
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, allowing them to adapt to changes gradually. By focusing on steady progress,
this
Linking Words
 view supports structured growth, helps communities thrive, and creates a predictable environment where individuals feel safe and supported.
On the other hand
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, those who support
People
Use synonyms
 believe that it is important for
children
Use synonyms
 to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 about
matters
Use synonyms
 that affect them believe it’s better for solving problems and addressing challenges.
This
Linking Words
 view emphasises fairness, responsibility, and openness, ensuring no single group has too much control over
decisions
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, it promotes equality, builds trust within communities, and creates a more inclusive environment. By encouraging everyone to participate,
this
Linking Words
 approach reduces conflicts and risks, leading to sustainable results. It
also
Linking Words
 fosters cooperation, ensuring all voices are heard and considered in decision-making processes. In conclusion, both allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own choice on everyday
matters
Use synonyms
 (
such
Linking Words
 as food, clothes and entertainment) and
People
Use synonyms
 believe that it is important for
children
Use synonyms
 to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 about
matters
Use synonyms
 that affect them offer valuable ideas about allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own choice. Each side highlights important points, but combining their strengths and addressing their weaknesses could lead to the most balanced, effective, and sustainable solutions for the future.

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grammar/sentence structure
Fix long sentences and run-on ideas. Shorter sentences make your point clear.
content development/examples
Add clear examples for each view to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show how ideas connect (however, therefore, in addition).
argument focus
State your own view clearly in one place and refer back to it in the conclusion.
content
The essay shows a balanced view by presenting both sides.
structure
There is an attempt to use 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' to link ideas.
structure
There is a clear introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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