Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians . Other believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources

There is no doubt that government financial aids are needed to strengthen industries, and in turn,

this

assistance will foster the sectors’ contribution to both government and society. Some people believe that governments are compulsory to provide financial endorsements for creative industry workers,

while

others argue that

this

sector

should seek alternative sources of funding. I partly agree with both sides because

although

the creative

sector

delivers significant contributions, there are other vital sectors that require to be invested heavily. Examining the proposing view, creative artists

such

as filmmakers, musicians, and sculptors play significant roles in introducing the cultural values of a particular country.

For instance

, in around 2018, an Indonesian music group called Weird Genius released a song called Latih, and

this

song successfully grabbed international attention related to the Javanese and Balinese culture.

This

artwork

consequently

increased globetrotters' influx to Bali Island and resulted in an increase in the locals’ income. In conclusion, the impacts of the creative

sector

are closely related to tourism, and currently, the number of Indonesia’s international tourists is progressively increasing,

therefore

, a total discontinuity of financial support to the creative

field

will hamper the existing progress.

On the other hand

, especially in several developing countries, investment initiatives in vital public services

such

as healthcare, transportation, and education are required. These sectors must be put into higher priority than the creative

field

because these sectors are related to the fundamental needs of citizens.

For example

, in Indonesia, the Human Development Index (HDI) now ranks around 100th, implying that there are pressing issues in the education

field

and intensive research projects into the

field

are needed.

Moreover

, a similar trend

also

happens in the health

sector

, Indonesia is ranked around 137th, which we can infer that a significant amount of funds are required to allocate for improving healthcare quality.

Therefore

, it is a smart move by the government to focus on the most pressing obstacles, and the creative industry stakeholders may seek various alternatives to funding. At its core, priorities can be determined through the nature of each

sector

and its relation to society,

however

, we can

also

consider the current noticeable progress of creative industries as a reason behind the amount of funding allocated.

Submitted by manapapuja2 on Tue Oct 29 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Try to make your introduction more engaging with a hook or a thought-provoking question.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea that ties directly into your thesis statement.

Task Response

Include more specific examples that illustrate the effectiveness or current gap in funding for creative artists in real-world contexts.

Task Response

Consider presenting counterarguments to strengthen your position by showing you've considered other perspectives.

Task Achievement

You have successfully examined both sides of the argument, which is essential for a well-rounded discussion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical flow of your essay allows readers to understand your analysis of both viewpoints clearly.

Task Achievement

Using real-world examples, like the Indonesian music group, adds depth and credibility to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

370 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians . Other believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn language in childhood. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?