Some celebrities say their love lives shouldn’t be under scrutiny in the media. However, other people feel that they should accept this as part of their fame. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

In
this
contemporary world, the dispute between
people
grows. Some believe that
celebrities
have the right to keep their personal lives private,
otherwise
, it can lead to insecurity and relationship problems.
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
agree that famous
people
should be under scrutiny by the press since it makes them role models for the public and gives them some power and money. In
this
essay, I will discuss both these views and try to draw some conclusions. On the one hand, it is confirmed that notabilities should not be under media scrutiny. There are several reasons for
this
statement. The first one is that
such
a sequence of events leads to insecurity, it ruins famous
people
's personal lives and privacy. They are usually bothered by photographers and the press. All the time, they have to act in a certain way.
Also
,
this
causes confusion of identity and disorientation.
Moreover
, it causes relationship problems, destroying a real friendship. A person has friends and fans, but he never be sure if they love him for who he is or his position.
On the other hand
, it is argued that
celebrities
should admit the press investigation as part of their fame.
This
phenomenon
also
brings some benefits. The first and foremost is becoming a role model. Being a well-known person allows your ideas to be heard. He or she would be a role model or even a superhero for many
people
. Notabilities have lots of admirers, fans and supporters, which is really satisfying for them. Another option is that it brings status, respect and popularity, motivating
celebrities
to work harder. And, of course, they have power, influence and wealth, which is
also
a great advantage. In conclusion, I personally believe that
celebrities
have the right to live their own lives without constant scrutiny and no one can interfere.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, aim to provide more specific examples or evidence that clearly support each viewpoint discussed. This will make the arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your personal opinion in the conclusion with an explanation. This will give your viewpoint more depth and clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that the transitions between points are smooth and that each paragraph builds logically from the one before it. Using more linking words can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets up the topic and outlines the two perspectives. This is a strong start.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's opinion on the topic. It is concise and presents a clear personal stance.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both perspectives on the topic, which shows a balanced approach to task coverage.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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