Some believe that the government should support artists like musicians, painters, and poets, while others argue that this is a misuse of funds. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is often said that the
government
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should promote artistic people like musicians, painters, and poets because they play a huge role in youngsters's lives.
However
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, there are some individuals who are completely against
this
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idea. I will discuss the debate and give a concluding view on
this
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topic. on the one hand, In
this
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modern world, most young entities follow
artists
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and they want to become just like them. If a country's authority backed musicians, poets and painters
then
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it would be beneficial for young innovative minds. To exemplify, By seeing the ministry's encouragement individuals will feel more free to showcase their talent on a bigger level and they will feel more confident about their careers in art fields.
Apart from
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this
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, another benefit is that
Artists
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can represent the country on international platforms which will
also
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help to boost the economy and relationships between different nations. Examples can be seen in today's world where many characters from different countries collaborate together which shows that we all are the same. It helps to create new bonds between the countries.
By contrast
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, Some people say that the
government
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are misusing the funds by promoting
artists
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. They believe that the
government
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should spend money on other fields which range from the health sector,education and sports etc.
instead
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of spending too much money on actresses. It is necessary to focus on the public's genuine problems.
for example
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, There are so many human beings who cannot afford expensive treatments because of financial crises
due to
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which their lives come to an end. The
government
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can help them by providing less costly treatments in hospitals.
Moreover
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, they should promote physical and mental health by supporting sportspersons in the country. Nowadays, the majority of youngsters refuse to choose sports because they think they cannot earn enough money to assist their families if they go for sports.
Overall
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, There is no doubt that
government
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should support the
artists
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to enhance their nation's growth
however
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, There are some other major issues that need consideration
instead
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of just focusing on the
artists
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.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each point discussed is fully developed with clear explanations, supporting details, and relevant examples. Consider addressing possible counterarguments or exploring the nuances of the issue more thoroughly for a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing coherence and cohesion by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. This will help the essay to flow better and make the arguments easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
You include a clear introduction that outlines the debate and indicates that you will discuss both sides and provide your opinion.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning international collaboration and financial constraints affecting healthcare.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points and provides your viewpoint, effectively ending the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural diversity
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • trickle-down effect
  • national pride
  • artistic independence
  • government funding
  • taxpayer burden
  • compromise integrity
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