IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #transportation #roads
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Some individuals think that governments should put more money into improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
 rather than constructing new roads. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss why I agree with
this
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 idea to a large extent. Investing in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 can benefit a lot of people.
For example
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, in big cities like New York or Tokyo, where traffic congestion is a major issue, having efficient public
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems can help reduce the number of cars on the road.
This
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 not only decreases traffic jams but
also
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 lowers air pollution, making the city a healthier and more pleasant place to live.
Moreover
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, improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
 can make commuting more convenient and affordable for everyone.
For instance
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, in cities where buses and trains are reliable and accessible, people may choose to use public
transportation
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instead
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 of driving their cars.
This
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 can save them money on gas and parking fees,
as well as
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 reduce the wear and tear on roads, leading to lower maintenance costs for the government. In conclusion, I strongly believe that governments should prioritize investing in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 over building new roads. By doing so, they can improve the quality of life for their citizens, reduce traffic congestion, and promote a more sustainable way of living.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The response is well-organized and logically structured, which supports the argument effectively. To enhance this further, consider providing more varied examples to illustrate different aspects of the topic.
task achievement
While your task response is generally strong, consider expanding on the benefits of public transportation with additional relevant examples, such as economic benefits or impacts on urban planning.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the argument. They set a clear framework for the essay and neatly summarize the main points.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task with a clear stance on the topic. Your position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as New York and Tokyo, which help illustrate the benefits of investing in public transportation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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