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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern era,
criminal
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the criminal
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 rate is increasing and many dangerous
criminals
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 appear. Some argue that to decrease the number of
prisoners
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, the best way is
raise
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to raise
raising
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prison
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 terms. Others believe that alternative solutions will be more successful. Two points of view will be discussed in the following paragraphs before presenting my personal perspective in the conclusion. There are many reasons why extended
prison
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 term is important to turn down the number of inmates.
People
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 who advocate
this
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 method consider that longer detention plays an important role and is a solution against criminal acts. Dangerous
prisoners
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 deserve life sentences even the death penalty. These punishments are intended to deter
prisoners
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 and those preparing to commit crimes.
Moreover
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, after being released from
prison
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,
people
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 will never think about committing crimes. A recent research conducted at Havard University shows that 70% after being released from
prison
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,
people
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 never illegal acts
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that there are many alternative methods that are more effective in preventing
criminals
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.
Besides
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 increasing
prison
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 terms, we can release
prisoners
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 for humanitarian reasons with
people
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 who are good and re-educate law-breakers.
For instance
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,
criminals
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 in Vietnam will receive help from the government after being released from
prison
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such
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 as helping them integrate into the community, find a job, and become more honest
people
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.
In addition
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, the state sometimes
keep
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keeps
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 an eye on them if there is a repeat offence. In conclusion, reducing crime is a matter of national concern. In my point of view, the combination of increased
prison
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 terms, severe punishments, and humanitarian measures
are
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is
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 essential for
criminals
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.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on each argument with more detailed examples and explanations to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every idea is linked logically to the next to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces both views effectively and concludes with a personal opinion.
task achievement
The arguments are clearly defined, providing a balanced discussion of both views.
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