IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
closures
Correct your spelling
closured
shops
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of opening
shops
Use synonyms
 for a territory in time
trend
Use synonyms
 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened had a fluctuating
trend
Use synonyms
 in the time frame.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed fluctuated in the same trajectory. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed was nearly 6000 below the opening
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011 followed by a decline to reach 6000 and passing the
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened in 2012
additionally
Linking Words
 the closures
shops
Use synonyms
 had an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 to attain approximately 7000
above all
Linking Words
 times, in 2013.
Then
Linking Words
 it had a decline to hit about 6300 in 2014
subsequently
Linking Words
 it had a sharp decrease to reach the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 in the trajectory near 1000 in 2015.
Then
Linking Words
 after that, it had a sharp rise to reach 5000 in 2016 and
then
Linking Words
 it almost remained at the same level for the years 2017 and 2018. The
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened were roughly 8500 in 2011 and at the highest level in the time frame.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the opening
shops
Use synonyms
 had a drop to 4000 in 2012 followed by an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 to reach 6000 in 2014.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it had a fall to hit 4000 which was above of the closure
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Then
Linking Words
 after, it remained at the same level in 2016 and 2017,
although
Linking Words
 it had a small rise in 2017. And
then
Linking Words
, it had a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 to attain 3000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "subsequently".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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