IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to anaudience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #front #anaudience #skill #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
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 chart shows the expenditure of two
countries
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:
France
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 and the
UK
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 - on consumer goods in 2010. To better understand the data, we will analyze the
countries
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' figures and
then
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 compare them to each other to highlight the differences. Let's start with an analysis of the indicators in
France
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. The most popular product on which 400000
pounds
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 sterling were spent
,
Remove the comma
apply
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 cars. In second place are computers. In 2010, slightly less than 400,000
pounds
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 sterling were spent on them. 300,000
pounds
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 sterling were spent on books, which is 100,000
pounds
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 sterling more than on
perfume
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 - 200,000
pounds
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 sterling. The
last
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 place in demand is for cameras, only 150,000
pounds
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 sterling were spent on them, which is 50
pounds
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 sterling less than on
perfume
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. Let's look at the statistics of
expenses
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 in the
UK
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. The largest figure, slightly more than 450,000
pounds
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 sterling, is spent on cars. Books are the next most popular in 2010. Almost 400,000
pounds
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 sterling was spent on them. Cameras are
also
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 popular, nearly 350,000
pounds
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 sterling was spent on them. Computers stay in fourth place, exactly 350,000
pounds
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 sterling was spent on them in 2010. And a
further
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 just under 150,000
pounds
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 sterling was spent on
perfume
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. Having analyzed the figures, we can compare them with each other. The difference between the
expenses
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 on cars in
France
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 and the
UK
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 is slightly more than 50,000
pounds
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 sterling in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of the
UK
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. The
expenses
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 computers are approximately the same in both
countries
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. Their difference is slightly less than 50,000
pounds
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 sterling. Books are more in demand in the
UK
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 than in
France
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. The figures differ by slightly more than 100,000
pounds
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 sterling. The
expenses
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 on
perfume
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 in the
UK
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 are less than in
France
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 by almost a quarter of 200,000
pounds
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 sterling. And the difference between the
expenses
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 cameras is colossal. In
France
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, their amount is less than half of the
expenses
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 in the
UK
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. In total, the expenditure of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countries
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 on consumer goods in 2010 in the
UK
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amount
Wrong verb form
amounted
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 to 1700000
pounds
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 sterling, and in
France
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 – 1425000
pounds
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 sterling.
Therefore
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, in the
UK
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 the demand for these goods is higher.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure consistency in using either 'pounds sterling' or simply 'pounds' for better coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider summarizing the main points or providing insights in the conclusion to strengthen the overall response.
Task Achievement
Proofread for small numerical inaccuracies, like '50 pounds' instead of '50,000 pounds', which can affect clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction, analyzing data for both countries separately before comparing them.
Task Achievement
The task response is sufficiently comprehensive, covering all aspects of the expenditure for both countries.
Task Achievement
The essay uses specific numerical data to support points, enhancing its relevance and credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Articulate
  • Oratory
  • Elocution
  • Persuasive communication
  • Rhetorical skills
  • Eloquence
  • Confidence
  • Stage presence
  • Audience engagement
  • Non-verbal communication
  • Public discourse
  • Persuasion techniques
  • Presentation skills
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Diction
  • Anxiousness
  • Introversion
  • Curriculum integration
  • Subject mastery
  • Communication aptitude
What to do next:
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