Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to anaudience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

This
chart shows the expenditure of two
countries
:
France
and the
UK
- on consumer goods in 2010. To better understand the data, we will analyze the
countries
' figures and
then
compare them to each other to highlight the differences. Let's start with an analysis of the indicators in
France
. The most popular product on which 400000
pounds
sterling were spent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
cars. In second place are computers. In 2010, slightly less than 400,000
pounds
sterling were spent on them. 300,000
pounds
sterling were spent on books, which is 100,000
pounds
sterling more than on
perfume
- 200,000
pounds
sterling. The
last
place in demand is for cameras, only 150,000
pounds
sterling were spent on them, which is 50
pounds
sterling less than on
perfume
. Let's look at the statistics of
expenses
in the
UK
. The largest figure, slightly more than 450,000
pounds
sterling, is spent on cars. Books are the next most popular in 2010. Almost 400,000
pounds
sterling was spent on them. Cameras are
also
popular, nearly 350,000
pounds
sterling was spent on them. Computers stay in fourth place, exactly 350,000
pounds
sterling was spent on them in 2010. And a
further
just under 150,000
pounds
sterling was spent on
perfume
. Having analyzed the figures, we can compare them with each other. The difference between the
expenses
on cars in
France
and the
UK
is slightly more than 50,000
pounds
sterling in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the
UK
. The
expenses
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
computers are approximately the same in both
countries
. Their difference is slightly less than 50,000
pounds
sterling. Books are more in demand in the
UK
than in
France
. The figures differ by slightly more than 100,000
pounds
sterling. The
expenses
on
perfume
in the
UK
are less than in
France
by almost a quarter of 200,000
pounds
sterling. And the difference between the
expenses
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
cameras is colossal. In
France
, their amount is less than half of the
expenses
in the
UK
. In total, the expenditure of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countries
on consumer goods in 2010 in the
UK
amount
Wrong verb form
amounted
show examples
to 1700000
pounds
sterling, and in
France
– 1425000
pounds
sterling.
Therefore
, in the
UK
the demand for these goods is higher.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure consistency in using either 'pounds sterling' or simply 'pounds' for better coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider summarizing the main points or providing insights in the conclusion to strengthen the overall response.
Task Achievement
Proofread for small numerical inaccuracies, like '50 pounds' instead of '50,000 pounds', which can affect clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction, analyzing data for both countries separately before comparing them.
Task Achievement
The task response is sufficiently comprehensive, covering all aspects of the expenditure for both countries.
Task Achievement
The essay uses specific numerical data to support points, enhancing its relevance and credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Articulate
  • Oratory
  • Elocution
  • Persuasive communication
  • Rhetorical skills
  • Eloquence
  • Confidence
  • Stage presence
  • Audience engagement
  • Non-verbal communication
  • Public discourse
  • Persuasion techniques
  • Presentation skills
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Diction
  • Anxiousness
  • Introversion
  • Curriculum integration
  • Subject mastery
  • Communication aptitude
What to do next:
Look at other essays: