More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be solved? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
A
lot
of people
argue and choose to move
live
from Rephrase
apply
side
cities area
to live in cities. I believe the
Correct article usage
apply
people
have personal reason
to do that, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
while
that has negative impacts or Correct word choice
but
problems
. After problems
which given by the citizens for moving their live
in Replace the word
life
city
, I also
believe that has some way to solve the prople
to do not Correct your spelling
people
problem
move
their live
from Replace the word
life
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
area
.
As said above, that have
some Correct subject-verb agreement
has
problems
if a lot
of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
move
from rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
area
to live in Fix the agreement mistake
areas
city
, Add an article
the city
a city
,
Change the punctuation
apply
while
the people
who want to move
their
live in Correct pronoun usage
apply
city
like once in Correct article usage
the city
the
blue moon. First for Correct article usage
a
problem
that will make when the Add an article
a problem
the problem
people
move
from side
Add an article
the side
city
area
, that will make their village in there
place is Correct your spelling
their
aboneded
. It is because anyone who Correct your spelling
bonded
live
there Change the verb form
lives
are leave
and Wrong verb form
leaves
make
the place Change the verb form
makes
does
not Verb problem
apply
cleaned
and structured. Change the verb form
clean
Moreover
, in the cities which places liven by the people
after move
from Add an article
a move
the move
side
Add an article
the side
city
area
, that will be crowded also
full, like some water which moven
from glass one to other glass and pointed in one glass.
Correct your spelling
moves
moved
move
Furthermore
, I believe that have some solution
to solve the Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
problems
. Firstly
, their government should visit the rural area
or their village condition, maybe there has some problem and made a lot
of people
who live there are
do not feel Unnecessary verb
apply
live
Replace the word
life
comfortly
. Correct your spelling
comfortably
Moreover
, for
make the Change preposition
to
people
who live in side
Correct your spelling
the
city
area
feel enjoy, the government should build some building
or Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
park
there, to make the Fix the agreement mistake
parks
citizen
live Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
with
Change preposition
apply
comfortly
. The government must care with their citizens and make them happy Correct your spelling
comfortably
live
there Change the form of the verb
living
while
in rural area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
Secondly
, some people
who want to move
their live in city
should think again about that, how the affect to their live and other people
live
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
To conclude
that
, that have some Correct word choice
apply
problems
from
the case Change preposition
in
if
a Correct your spelling
of
lot
of people
who live in rural area
and want to Fix the agreement mistake
areas
move
live in city
. I believe if the solutions that given by me, the problem will solved and clear.Add an article
the city
a city
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on
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task achievement
To increase your score in task achievement, make sure your response completely addresses all parts of the task. Include relevant examples to underline your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring that your ideas flow logically. Make sure your paragraphs clearly link to one another and use a range of linking phrases appropriately.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, which provides a nice structure.
task achievement
You have identified some key problems related to rural depopulation and have attempted to propose solutions, showing an understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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