IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use of energy(for example,electricity,gas).Thus,some companies close for some days a week.Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

a
Remove the article
apply
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research
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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conducted
Add a missing verb
was conducted
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 not long ago about the
use
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
office
Correct article usage
the office
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 has come to the conclusion that the
use
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
office
Add an article
the office
an office
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 can
be lessen
Change the verb form
be lessened
show examples
 by spending minimal time in
Use synonyms
office
Correct article usage
the office
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. Because of that, few companies choose to close
the
Change the word
their
show examples
Use synonyms
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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 for two to three days a week.
This
Linking Words
 decision leads to a question
Change preposition
of weather
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weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 the development mentioned has more positive impact than the negatives.
on
Change preposition
From
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 one
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, cutting some of the working
day
Change to a plural noun
days
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
office
Correct article usage
the office
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sure
Correct word choice
apply
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can reduce the
use
Use synonyms
 of
energy
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 and become
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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great advantages that benefit the
company
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. When the
use
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 can be
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimised
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, the
company
Use synonyms
 will pay way smaller amount for the electricity, gas, and water.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, workers
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
company
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opportunity to have a semi-holiday and do their
work
Use synonyms
 and meetings
Change preposition
in rom
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rom
Correct your spelling
a
 cafe, or just
having
Wrong verb form
have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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flexible
work
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 in the place they want.
conversely
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development
also
Linking Words
 has its own
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. if the
company
Use synonyms
 choose to close the
office
Use synonyms
 for some days a week and let the
worker
Use synonyms
 to WFH (
Work
Use synonyms
 From Home) or WFC (
Work
Use synonyms
 from
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
show examples
) it will be a loss for
Use synonyms
worker
Correct article usage
the worker
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 mentioned, because not every
Use synonyms
worker
Change noun form
worker's
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 house
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a good signal and internet to do the meetings online.
not to mention
Linking Words
 they will paid more for wifi or any other essential that they need to maximize their
work
Use synonyms
 responsibility. The
worker
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's
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
a
Correct article usage
apply
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massive miscommunication because there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 too
much
Change the quantifier
many
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hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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information and they can not confirm it directly
due to
Linking Words
 the difference
of
Change preposition
in
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 places. in conclusion, the decision to close for some days a week in companies has both positive and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 for the
company
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 and for the
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 actually
belives
Verb problem
believe
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 that
this
Linking Words
 development has greater disadvantages that outweigh the advantages. but all of that will back again to the background of why the decision is taken. Not all
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 need an
energy
Use synonyms
 cut, and not all
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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capable
Add a missing verb
are capable
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 of working outside the
office
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. all of the
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 must be discussed with both
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 and the
worker
Use synonyms
 for it to be good for both sides.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving paragraph transitions to enhance the logical flow between ideas.
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples and evidence supporting your points.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive phrases and focus on presenting clear arguments to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Consider rephrasing sentences for better clarity and grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
The essay shows awareness of both positive and negative aspects of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and a conclusion are present, summarizing key points nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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