Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure Centre to save money. Write a letter to your council. In your letter -Give details on how you and your family use the Centre. -explain why the Centre is important for the local community. -describe the potential effects on local people if the Centre closes.

#council #sports #leisure #centre #money #-give #-explain #community #-describe #effects #people

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

letter regarding the closure of the sports and leisure

Centre

in our neighbourhood. We have frequently been using it for exercise and entertainment,

such

as swimming, basketball, and football.

This

leisure

Centre

is very convenient for us.

This

Centre

is very important for the local community as it provides opportunities for shopping, socializing, and exercising for many residents.

For example

last

month, the basketball matches held at the

Centre

were fantastic, and we were very happy to attend them.

Moreover

, six months ago, my children won a national football match, which was made possible by the facilities at

this

Centre

. We are very upset about the possibility of closing the

Centre

, as it may have negative consequences

such

as a decline in sports participation, an increase in health issues, and,

on the other hand

, people feeling more isolated.

Additionally

, we would face serious difficulties

such

as heavy traffic, as people would be forced to travel to other locations for entertainment and exercise. Thank you for your assistance. I look forward to your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Mohsen Ijbari

Submitted by jingelbing on Wed Oct 30 2024

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task achievement

The response effectively covers all parts of the prompt. However, to further enhance the task achievement, more specific examples or data could be included to emphasize the importance of the Centre.

coherence cohesion

While the letter flows well, consider varying transition phrases to make the text even more engaging.

task achievement

The letter comprehensively addresses the prompt by discussing personal usage, community importance, and potential consequences.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the letter, and paragraphs are well-structured.

task achievement

A formal tone is consistently used, appropriate for the audience and purpose.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

184 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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